Why You Need to Know What You Want

Sharon Moore December 19, 2013

Imagine this. One Saturday morning, a great idea came to your mind – what about a road trip? So you packed a number of clothes. It’s going to be fun, that’s all you are certain of. As the engine starts, you suddenly realised that you haven’t thought of where to go yet. “Wherever these wheels take me”, you said. Okay. So you drive. One, two, three, four hours have past. You just kept driving. Uh-oh, you forgot to bring some food and water, so your focus quickly shifted from where to go to where the nearest convenient store is. Thankfully, you found a small store. Whew. But they’re only selling a few food items and most of them are nothing but junk foods. You just had a promise to yourself that you will start eating healthy. But you have no choice. So you settled for the unhealthy stuff. Back to the car – in one, two, and three – you’re driving again.

It’s already 5 in the afternoon and you still can’t decide where to go. Your lower back is starting to ache and you’re starting to get bored. You have no one to talk to. Oh, you should have invited your friends. You felt upset and irritated. You just want to go home. So you drove several hours back to your apartment.

The day is over. You felt so bad because your day didn’t go well. It was, supposedly, a good day. It isn’t what you planned. Oh, you forgot – you haven’t really planned at all.

Hope this simple scenario has made you realised how boring and upsetting life can be without you knowing what you want to do.

Seek, and you shall find – so goes a popular saying. Life is a whole different experience when you understand what guides you, what motivates you, and what gives you zeal and enthusiasm to carry on with your journey. If you ask Sigmund Freud of why we do things we do, he would tell you that the human behaviour is motivated by sex and aggression. That’s true but on a completely primal level. Today, we live not just for these things. Viktor Frankl, an Austrian existential psychologist who pioneered the school of thought known as logotherapy, found that our dominant driving force is to find meaning in life.

Purpose – it is a very unique phenomenon that you alone could figure out; although others can help you find it by providing guidance and support. Purpose gives us direction in life, opening every opportunity to live it in the best way we can. When we are able to identify what we need, we are able to plan carefully on how we can get it. This lowers the chance of failed attempts and wasted efforts.

When we are unaware of our needs, we tend to act based on our feelings or impulses. Unfortunately, not all of our impulses take us to the right path or to where we really wanted to be – to where we can be happier. It also makes us feel as if we have no choice, so we end up settling for less.

According to Frankl, there are two types of purpose we need to figure out in our life – the ‘micro’ and the ‘macro’. Your micro-level purpose is to know your values, and then, be in integrity with them. When you fully know and understand what you stand for and what you believe in, you can keep your composure no matter how difficult the situation is. Meanwhile, your macro-level purpose is your search for meaning. It’s like waking up in the morning knowing that you are on the right path (the path that makes you happy), regardless of what other people say. If you’re like most people, it could be that you’re still unclear of what your purpose in life is until now. Don’t feel bad and don’t rush. You’ll get there. Just don’t forget these three important things – your values, strengths, and passions. They all will guide you to finding out what you really want and need in life.