What Makes Some People Effortlessly Cruel?

Rebecca Lewis June 27, 2013

They say humans are hardwired to love one another. This is probably the reason why many of us cry while watching a drama series or a tragic film wherein someone is hurt, abandoned, or left uncared for. Maybe you have asked this question many times – why is it that some people could be so effortlessly cruel to others? Why is it so easy for them to hurt someone else without any trace of guilt for what they’ve done? Are some people just like that or is there a deeper reason for their seemingly unpleasant behaviour?

Spirit of Abstractionism Fuels Cruelty

One of the common reasons for cruelty is the spirit of abstraction, a term coined by Gabriel Marcel in his essay "The Spirit of Abstraction as a Factor Making for War”. It is defined as a practice of conceiving other people as ‘functions’ rather than as ‘human beings’. In a more modern sense we call it ‘labelling’. For instance, hundreds of years ago, a slave is treated as a property, not a person. Back in the Nazis war, Hitler labelled Jews as ‘something’ that is inferior. During that time, it was so easy for people to be cruel to the Jews, taking their homes, food and even their lives.

Many times, we tend to over generalise our view of people by putting labels on them. So when we describe a woman as a ‘mum’, we think of her as someone who stays at home, does the house chores, and waits for her husband and the children to come home. Few would imagine a full-fledged human being whose needs, desires, and choices in life are far different from other mums out there. When we talk about customer service people, we think of those non-cooperative individuals who only read the scripted explanations for charging our bank account without permission. Few would think of them as individuals who are simply doing their job, trying their best to help every person who calls them.

By limiting the way we view others, the spirit of abstraction triggers even the most righteous people to engage in cruel behaviours. The good thing is – it is possible to change this practice and reduce the prevalence of cruelty and all its forms. Here’s how:

Understand the reason behind other people’s actions. Sometimes, we find it hard to comprehend the reason why somebody has to do this and that, why they have to choose a different path, and how come they arrived to such a different decision. Still, understanding their reasons before we judge them is the right thing to do. Understanding their perspective, where they are coming from, and what has caused them to do something we do not adhere to is the first step towards eliminating the spirit of abstraction. It is also a good way to develop our sense of empathy.

Be aware of how often you abstract others on a daily basis. How often do you view other people beyond who they are to the society? When you call a customer service representative, do you often wonder what he or she does other than taking customers’ inquiries? Do you ever wonder about her hopes and dreams, or future plans? Have you ever considered whether your colleague at work who always annoys you is going through a serious problem at home or is feeling troubled by a health concern? Expanding our view of others makes us understand them even better and reduce our tendency to be cruel to them.

Consider what other people choose not to show. Just because your boss never smiles doesn’t mean he or she is a difficult person. Just because your friend always laugh doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t experience emotional pain. Often, what we show to other people is only a small portion of who we truly are. That’s why it is very difficult to judge other people just by looking at their actions.

The spirit of abstraction is more prevalent than what we think. Most if not all of us may have seen others this way once or a few times already. But this practice is unhealthy and only fosters cruelty. By opening our eyes and viewing other people beyond what the society has labelled them, there will most probably be understanding, love, acceptance, and compassion.