Why Chasing Happiness Makes You Less Happy

Rebecca Lewis May 16, 2013

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Everybody strives for happiness. We study, look for a job, find a mate, build a family and reach all our dreams because of one thing – we believe they are going to make us happy. But what if all the things we believe about happiness are completely different from what it’s like in reality? What if persistently searching for happiness does not help us in any way; rather take us farther away from it?

We all know that happiness is the key to well-being. Thus, it is simply logical to assume that valuing happiness is highly important. But in a series of studies led by psychologist Iris Mauss from the University of Denver, it was found that the more people value happiness, the less happy they become. In the first study, female participants who said they valued happiness more reported lower levels of happiness. In the second study, participants who were experimentally induced to value happiness reacted more positively to a sad emotion rather than the happy one. This led Mauss to conclude that valuing happiness may lead people to be less happy just when happiness is within reach.

What’s wrong with trying to be happy?

Whenever we pursue happiness, our goal is to experience as much joy and contentment as we can possibly feel. What many of us forget is the fact that in between happiness is sadness, failure, regrets and other negative emotions that make life less than perfect but real. To find out if we’re making progress with chasing happiness, we tend to compare our past experiences with the present. This is where the problem starts. Instead of experiencing the happiness as it is in the moment, we subconsciously divert are focus and attention to evaluating our level of happiness that the moment we find out that it’s not the same with the kind of happiness we experienced before, we become utterly sad.

Let’s take a look at the research conducted several years ago by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Here, he found that when people are in the state of flow, or when they are deeply absorbed in an activity that they love to do such as chatting with a long lost friend, reading a novel, or engaging in their most loved sport, they don’t report being happy as they are too busy concentrating on the task at hand. But after this, when they look back to what just happened, they experience optimal happiness.

In other people however, or those who constantly seek for happiness, this ability to find flow is disrupted. They are too busy trying to figure out what careers or paths in life are best for them that they forget to deeply engage in the activities they do, a fact that makes them depressed over time. This leads to a vicious cycle of evaluating daily projects as less enjoyable, according to the research by Katariina Salmela-Aro and Jari-Erik Nurmi.

Another problem with trying to be happy is that people tend to overestimate the positive effects of their goals. For example, many people think that a major promotion at work is going to make them happier. But they forgot that it is part of human nature to easily adapt to new circumstances. We might think that a higher post in the office makes our job easier, but after several months of being in that position, things become very normal and dragging. In a classic study by psychologist Dan Gilbert, he found that even winning the lottery didn’t appear to yield lasting gains in happiness. Another mistake that many people do when chasing happiness is this: they tend to focus more on themselves. But a growing body of research suggests that self-focused attention undermines happiness and leads to depression. Lastly, finding happiness becomes problematic because people expect too much for strong positive emotions. But happiness is driven by the frequency, not the intensity of positive emotions, according to psychologist Ed Diener. Expecting too much can lead to greater disappointments in life.

As they say, happiness is a journey not a destination. You can find it along the way and not in the end of the road. Constantly looking for that something you think will bring you happiness makes you miss the joy that’s just around the corner. Look around you, maybe the happiness you’ve been trying to find for so long is just inches away from you.

Do you agree that happiness is driven by the frequency and not the intensity of positive emotions? How can we experience happiness in our daily life? Share your insights by posting a comment below.