When Everything You Do Seems Not Enough

Amy Taylor November 05, 2014

Ever felt like no matter how hard you try, or no matter how much you do and effort you give – it is still not enough? We all hear the same voices from time to time – “You don’t do enough. You’re not enough. You can’t be enough. You are going to fail”.

Why do you feel you’re not doing enough?

We all go through phases in our life when we feel like we are not good enough and we will never be. You most probably experienced giving all you can to impress someone but despite all your efforts, that person failed to appreciate you. Or, you have worked hard to achieve your dreams and have a good life, but for so many years you are stuck in a small flat, facing lots of debts.

Nearly every negative experience we go through in life makes us feel like we are not good enough. But wait until you see past the surface.

You may be doing more than you could, the thing is that you don’t realise it. You probably are already exceeding your limits; the problem is that you have too high expectations from yourself. Also, it could be that you are actually doing too much, that you almost fail to see and appreciate your personal efforts and you lack this important value – gratitude.

So how can you escape from the tormenting feeling of not doing enough or not being enough?

Initiating Healing

Whilst it really helps to see a therapist when dealing with issues like this, true healing starts the moment you realise and accept that you are worthy of healing. One mistake many people commit is that they set too high expectations from themselves – unaware that it can actually lead them to disappointment. The logic is simple. When you don’t achieve what you expected, you fail. And that’s where frustrations and disappointments begin.

So the first, and most important step to counter that ‘not enough’ feeling is to lower your expectations. When you do, you eliminate the stress and anxiety you feel as you worry about not being able to achieve your goals for a specific period of time. And when you do this, expect to maintain a steady level of energy and determination, which positively impacts your productivity and the outcome of whatever task you’re in.

Second, instil in your mind that you are enough. Tell yourself that starting today, you are doing the best you can, and tomorrow, you will strive to do better. And even if today hasn’t been a good one, it doesn’t mean that you failed. Stop minimising your efforts. Rather, appreciate them. Not everyone can do all the things you can.

Third, never look at others’ successes as a basis for yours. Don’t think that by now, you must be as rich or successful as your classmate in high school. No two people have completely the same life story. You never know what that person went through to get to where he or she is now. Comparing yourself to others will always make you feel like you are not doing enough, which sets you up to a vicious cycle of disappointment.

Lastly, practise gratefulness every single day. Gratitude serves as your ‘happy pill’. When you take it in the morning and before you sleep at night, you will never feel like you are not doing enough. You will experience a significant raise in your mood and energy levels, and you will be more than motivated to face a new day with zeal and enthusiasm. When practising gratitude, you need not emphasis the big accomplishments you had. In fact, what makes it more powerful are the little positive experiences you had – like the nice person you just met, your hubby’s warm kiss, your four-year-old wonderful smile, or your cat’s beautiful yawn. These simple things are really what bring the largest impact on your life, not your new car and house, job promotion, or money in the bank.

Whenever you are feeling you are not good enough, consider following these suggestions. Begin by lowering your self-expectations. Next, remind yourself that you are good enough and that you are worthy of healing and feeling better. Third, focus on your own progress and never compare yourself to others. And lastly, practice gratitude. These tips are often too easy said than done. So take it easy, one step at a time. Incorporate one in your life now until you make it a part of your system, and then proceed to the next. Sooner or later, you will feel better and more satisfied with your life.