What to Do When Your Partner Has Social Anxiety

Rebecca Lewis May 20, 2015

Social anxiety is one of the most common mental health problems affecting millions of people worldwide. It is more than ‘shyness’. Social anxiety is the persistent and overwhelming fear of social situations, such as speaking to someone over the phone, attending an event, or even going to public spaces. Whilst it is normal to worry about certain social situations, people with social anxiety disorder tend to worry about these circumstances before, during and afterwards. They often fear that doing or saying something will be humiliating or embarrassing.

For this reason, people with social anxiety are often misunderstood. They are often called lazy, unfriendly, aloof, and misfits. If your partner has social anxiety, it is helpful to recognise the symptoms, acknowledge and understand their condition, and find ways to support them.

Be vocal about your compliments.

So your partner got a new hairstyle? Tell her. So he’s looking good? Tell him. People with social anxiety tend to put too much emphasis on physical appearance, as they feel like they are being judged by how they look. So what’s the best way to boost their confidence? Be vocal about your compliments. Tell them what you find are good about them. Even the minor positive changes count. This boosts their self-confidence.

Encourage rest.

Think about this. People with social anxiety spend most of their waking hours obsessing about their worries, like how they are going to cope with a meeting at work, or deal with a new client. Their brains are actively churning, and that can be really exhausting. So don’t think that you are the reason why your partner is frowning. Remember that a lot of things are going through their head. So rather than criticising them for their tiredness, try to put yourself in their shoes. Suggest a short nap or do something fun and relaxing together.

Encourage a healthy lifestyle.

As mentioned, anxiety can be very exhausting to deal with. People with this mental health disorder experience high levels of stress on a regular basis, which predisposes their body to varying health problems, such as heart disease and diabetes. What’s more, anxiety stimulates inflammatory activity of those parts of the brain that trigger immune system functions, according to a 2010 study of UCLA researchers.

Support them throughout a change.

You might be very much excited and enthusiastic about a career change that will bring you to different places and experiences. But your partner may feel otherwise. Any change can be a horrible threat to your partner. Find ways to acclimate with them and help them go through a change easily and smoothly. Taking the baby steps is the best route possible.

Give them some space.

You may always feel the need to be your partner’s saviour and try to help them in any way possible, so interacting with others would not be too difficult for them. But sometimes, it is necessary that you give them space. Remember that it’s not because your partner doesn’t want to be with you, it’s just that their anxiety disorder is holding them back.

Encourage therapy and support.

Social anxiety is truly a debilitating mental health disorder. But the good news is that it can be treated. There are various therapies that can help address social anxiety, such as psychotherapy, hypnotherapy and counselling. Helping your partner get adequate support is essential to help him or her recover from the tormenting world of anxiety.