What to Do When You Don’t Really Like Yourself

Rebecca Lewis August 27, 2014

Tweet

Research has shown time and again that it’s difficult to be happy when you don’t like yourself. Some people are unlucky to have been born to abusive parents who prevented them from developing a healthy self-esteem, while others grew up hating themselves because of their physical disability or physical appearance. Others on the other hand, dislike themselves for reasons they can’t figure out at all.

You may have a few reasons to hate yourself, but there are certainly more reasons to love it. Self-love is something we should strive for, because without it, we can’t love others completely. We can’t commit to long-term relationships, and we won’t be able to enjoy loving others and being loved by them. All of us have insecurities – reasons to hate ourselves, to be ashamed of our body. The thing is that nobody is perfect. We are all flawed individuals and that makes us human. The key, therefore, in practising self-love is accepting all our imperfections. Once you are able to do this, you will find the next steps achievable.

Lower your expectations. It’s easy to hate yourself when you keep failing to meet your expectations. What you may not realise is that you may be actually doing better – much better than before. It’s just that you are setting too high expectations from yourself. For instance, expecting to establish a business in a year without enough financial resources is going to make you feel a failure, despite all your hard work. There’s no harm in dreaming big. But you need to make realistic goals. Take the baby steps, and celebrate milestones as you go. Noticing achievements, no matter how small they are, is a great way to improve your self-esteem and like yourself more.

Treat yourself like a friend. Sometimes, we tend to be our own worst critics. Go easy on yourself. Stop bashing yourself. When you are feeling down, make an effort to make yourself feel better, like you would do to a friend who’s dealing with a difficulty.

Ask your friends what they like about you. Because we tend to be our own worst critics, often we also fail to recognise our strengths. Now is the time that you make yourself realise you are special, loved and accepted for who you are. Ask your friends three things they like about you. You might be surprised to find out you possess such positive qualities you haven’t thought you have.

Find your true source of self-esteem. Most of us develop self-esteem based on our looks, skills, or accomplishments. But the thing is that all these elements are not intended to last. Looks, as we all know, fade.  As we age, we our bodies get weaker, we become more prone to illness, and our youthfulness disappears. Furthermore, our past accomplishments cannot sustain our happiness. So what should be our source of self-esteem? We should get it from things that don’t wane over time. They include our positive qualities and core values.

Be with positive people. Finding friendships and communities where people celebrate their strengths and who they are makes it easier to obtain self-acceptance. Choose to be with those who embrace their worth and gives us living models to learn from, as well as those who are happy to see us improving, not falling into pieces.