What to Do When Disappointment Strikes

Sharon Moore November 19, 2014

Disappointments are part of life – that’s the bitter truth. No matter how smart, rich, strong or successful a person is, he or she is bound to experience disappointments from time to time. Whether it’s in the form of a heartbreak, a failed business venture, an ailment diagnosis, a missed sale, or huge financial loss – when disappointment strikes, it really is painful.

So what can you do about it?

Stop blaming yourself.

Sometimes, when we are disappointed, the last thing we want to do is take a break and relax. Most people are in the habit of punishing themselves for their own mistakes. What they don’t realise is that it doesn’t help, and never will. Beating yourself up over what is done is not going to make any good outcome. You see, you can never turn back time.

Get detached.

Many times, the disappointments we deal with in life are really beyond our control. Maybe the person you are persuading to invest in your company turned you down because he or she doesn’t have enough funds, and not because they think your business is no good. Consider that there are many reasons that have nothing to do with you.

Think about your strengths.

In moments of disappointments, you are most likely filled with negative self-thoughts. You might be mumbling “I’m a loser”, “I’ve never done anything right”, “I should have never tried at all”, and so on. Yes, it is easy to dwell on your weaknesses when you are feeling distraught. However, it is not going to make you feel better. Worse, it could trigger you to do things that could make you hurt yourself or other people. When disappointment strikes, a powerful strategy to lift yourself up is to think about your strengths. Maybe you weren’t really good at this area, that’s why you failed. But you are so good in another, and you can always utilise your skills to succeed.

Step back.

This can be difficult at first but it can really help you logically assess your emotions, find the real reason why you are feeling disappointed, and think of smart strategies to overcome the disappointment and do better next time. Think of yourself as a lizard in the ceiling – just watching and listening. Or imagine the events playing out on a movie screen. Tackling disappointments like a spectator rather than a participant helps lessen the intensity of your emotions, and help you think smartly.

Choose to be with positive, encouraging people.

In times of disappointments, who you are with most of the time does matter a lot. Other people can make things worse by feeding your negative emotions, while some can help you see things in better perspective and encourage you to accept the bitter truth, move forward, and do better next time.

Learn to manage small disappointments.

Sometimes, deep hurt doesn’t really come from huge disappointments. Other times, it is a result of minor daily annoyances and frustrations. That is why it is also important that you learn how to manage small, daily disappointments. For instance, you didn’t wake up in the sound of your alarm clock so you end up arriving at the office late. You’re hungry because you haven’t eaten breakfast. You’re already frustrated. And upon getting into your desk you see pile of paperwork that needs to be done within the day. But what irritated you more is that you found out that someone’s gossiping about you in the office. In an effort to calm yourself down, you get some coffee. But you spill it all over yourself. And what’s worse is that you don’t have time to change clothes because you have a meeting with your boss and it’s starting in a minute.

While separately, they seem like minor annoyances, when tied together they usually turn into huge disappointment. Keeping your stress levels lows and learning how to regulate your emotions are all going to help you deal with disappointments more effectively.

Disappointments are part of life. And every one of us is bound to experience it every once in a while. That’s the bitter truth. But the sweet fact is that we have the option to pick ourselves up, get over it, and try again.