What Resilient People Can Teach You about Life

Lisa Franchi June 25, 2014

How do you deal with difficult situations? Do you face it with courage or do you walk away from it? Are you able to move forward and carry on with life, or does your whole world stop and you just let yourself get drowned in the deep? Resilience, or the ability to bounce back from life’s adversities, is an on-going process that requires time and effort. It is not something you acquire easily. It is something you learn the hard way.

If you know someone who is resilient, be thankful of that person. Here are essential, life-saving, happiness-boosting insights you can learn from resilient people:

You are unique and special, and incomparable.

Resilient people don’t compare themselves with others. They know that each person has a different life story that is incomparable with others. They don’t spend time feeling sorry for themselves that they didn’t get a big house like their friend or they don’t have enough money in the bank to travel the world like some people, etc. Instead, resilient people are continually improving themselves.

You need not compare yourself with others. Be your own measure of success. Stop wondering “what if”, and “only if”. Rather, focus on the things you can change and improve. It doesn’t matter if you are not as rich, famous, or successful as the others. As long as you are better than what you were yesterday, you are on the right path.

A good deal of laughter can do a lot.

Resilient people find reasons to laugh, amidst stressful moments. When they are able to laugh, especially with others, they gain sense of connectedness and belongingness. “Laughter is the best medicine”, so they say. It isn’t just hype or an idiomatic expression. The physical and mental health benefits of laughter are true and existing. Physically, laughing can lower blood pressure, relax tensed muscles, and increase vascular flow – all of these reduce the risk of heart disease. Mentally, laughing triggers the release of endorphins – the “feel good” chemicals that have mood-boosting and pain-alleviating effects.

Just because you are dealing with a very serious problem doesn’t mean you no longer have the right to laugh. Intentionally find humour in the mundane. Watch a funny movie and exchange jokes with a friend. Laughing it out can help you deal with stress and difficult situations more effectively.

With every setback comes a lesson to learn.

One of the reasons why resilient people don’t feel afraid of facing big problems is that they know that after every setback, there is a big transformation about to happen. There’s always a silver lining and a rainbow after the rain. Resilient people treat each problem as a stepping stone towards being more resilient. For instance, instead of being discouraged for not getting the promotion he wants, a resilient employee feels more determined to perform better and work harder at work, whilst a less resilient employee would feel demotivated to work, resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms (such as smoking, alcohol drinking, etc.)

Failures and rejections pave way for opportunities and growth. They make us stronger. Although it may feel terrifying at first, you will experience a great sense of accomplishment once you survived a fall. It will also make you feel a renewed, much better person.

Mindfulness is the key.

Resilient people regularly practise mindfulness. They monitor the thoughts and emotions that form in their mind. But unlike others, instead of negatively reacting to them, they look at those unwanted things like a storm that is passing through. They don’t let past hurts and negative experiences or the worries about the future affect the present.

Mindfulness meditation is a great tool to teach yourself how to regulate emotions – good or bad. Emotional regulation has an essential role in developing resilience. When you are able to manage your emotions effectively, you will not burst out and end up making bad decisions, doing things or saying things you will regret in the end.