What Our Babies Can Teach Us about Health and Happiness
Sure thing, kids learn so much from the grown-ups. Actually, most of their wisdom comes from what they see in us. But we, too, can learn from them, especially when it comes to health and well-being.
So what are these lessons?
Sleep is central to health and well-being.
Survey after survey reveals that most adults lack enough sleep. Sleep deprivation causes many health problems, saps our energy and motivation, and leaves us feeling unhappy. We’ve grown in a society where sleep comes last, and is forsaken in favour of work, nights out and time spent in front of the TV or computer. However, this routine that we often ignore, is central to our health and well-being. Cellular repair and restoration takes place during sleep, as well as memory consolidation and strengthening of the brain’s neural connections. There’s no wonder why sleep deprivation impairs learning. You probably have experienced it many times – when you don’t get enough sleep, you feel grumpy, unable to focus, and totally unwell. Commit to getting your full 7-9 hours of shut-eye each night. Nap with your baby and power up your mind and body.
You don’t need Facebook to be happy.
For babies, our warm hug and attention is enough to feel happy. Babies (until you let them get used to it), don’t use phones to check to check on Facebook, or follow people on Twitter. Whilst it gives us some form entertainment and pleasure, too much use of the social media has been found to cause unhappiness.
No one joins Facebook to be sad or lonely right? But in 2013, researchers from the University of Michigan examined how exactly social media contributes to unhappiness. In the study, led by psychologist Ethan Kross, researchers sent text messages to eighty-two Ann Arbor residents five times per day, over the course of two weeks with the goal of determining how their subjects felt overall, how worried and lonely they were, how much they had used Facebook, and how often they had had direct interaction with others since the previous text message. Researchers found that the more people used Facebook in the time between the two texts, the less happy they felt, and the more their overall satisfaction declined from the beginning of the study until its end. The data, he argues, shows that Facebook was making them unhappy.
In this highly digitised world, it’s almost impossible to unplug during the day. If you’re like most people, you use your phone as an alarm clock, to check work emails, get in touch with important people, seek direction, set reminders, etc. There are probably things you can’t remember, navigate or do without your electronic device. But there are ways to disconnect. At night, keep your gadget a few meters away from you and put it on silent mode. Limit your use of Facebook and other social media websites. Schedule a time for them – maybe an hour during weekends. Peeking on your newsfeed every now and then, even for just a few minutes, can largely affect your productivity and focus.
Play and have fun.
Kids are really good at enjoying the moment whilst adults are addicted to thinking about all the things they have to do tonight, tomorrow, and next week. Most adults no longer allow themselves to play like a child. Instead of engaging in fun recreational activities, a lot choose to ease their stress by drinking alcohol, taking drugs, and the like.
Playing with your child can boost your mood, lower your stress levels, and make you forget about your worries. Dance in the rain, make dolls out of paper, paint on cookies, or play princess tea party with your little ones. Find time to pursue your hobbies – whether it’s baking, drawing, playing an instrument, swimming, etc. Find an activity that puts you in a state of flow, which psychologists define as “a state of invigorated concentration experienced while pursuing an enjoyable activity”. That is, when you’re doing it, it seems nothing else exists, nothing else matters.
Slow down.
Kids know how to take their sweet time. Give yourself enough space to breathe. Schedule a downtime and allow yourself to experience relaxation at its best. Organise your time well. Make a to-do list if necessary, and learn how to prioritise things accordingly. Set realistic expectations. Don’t think you can do it all in a day. Allow yourself a moment to enjoy life just the way it is. Rushing takes away all the fun out of the day. Break the rules sometimes. Fun doesn’t follow all the rules. Neither do kids. If it doesn’t hurt, go for it! Leave those pretty Christmas lights up year-round or hang paper hearts even if it isn’t Valentine’s Day.
Trust is at the core of any relationship.
Trust should be like the feeling of a one year-old baby. When you throw him in the air, he laughs because he knows you would catch him. Without trust, a relationship cannot survive. Without it, one lacks the confidence to share their innermost feelings and thoughts, preventing closeness and connection. But many life experiences, particularly betrayal and trauma, can affect how we trust other people. Rebuilding lost trust can be a challenge but it is possible with time, open communication and forgiveness. The help of a counsellor may be required in some cases and can be a valuable resource.
Our kids may not talk to us like wise people do and share their insights directly and openly. But if we can just observe their actions and how they approach life, we can learn so much from them, particularly when it comes to health and well-being.
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