Ways to Emotionally Traumatise Your Kid

Amy Taylor January 17, 2013

As parents, we want our kids to grow not just physically healthy but emotionally and mentally fit as well. But did you know there are many things we normally do that makes our children more vulnerable to mental health problems?

Yes there are. Below are ways that can emotionally traumatise your kids:

Emotional Lock-Down

By not paying attention to their feelings, you are actually trumping out your child’s ability to express emotions. If your child is angry, sad, hysterical, or irritated, tell him or her to just get away from those emotions and don’t try to understand them.

Inconsistent Discipline

Don’t set expectations to your child but when he or she did something wrong, express your disappointment. Get your child into thinking how he or she could meet your expectations. Change your rules every now and then and make things miserable to your child.

Unload Adult Issues onto Your Child

Share all your problems with your child and make his or her head ache. Talk about financial, health, relationship, even sexual concerns. Make them feel you are incapable of these adult issues. Then look at how they would respond. Surely, your child’s heart will break.

Ignore Your Husband/Wife

Be real and genuine when it comes to your relationship with your spouse and let your child see every fight, quarrel and misunderstanding between the two of you. Fight in a daily basis. When your wife or husband is out, tell bad things against him or her to your child. If you want to put a lasting mark on your child’s emotional being, talk about divorce in front of them!

Measure Your Worth on Your Child’s Talents

Tell your child you will get mad if he or she doesn’t get high grades in school. Push them harder. Let them skip playing and enforce long hours studying and learning stuffs they never liked. Treat your child like a robot that only works in response of your command. Tell them what kind of friends to choose, what course to take in college, what career to pursue, etc. Don’t ever let them decide for themselves!

Punish Free Thinking

Make your child feel guilty by not doing the things you want them to do. If they meet new friends who you don’t like, tell them right away and punish them if they will continue to be with those people. If your child has a new idea to share, reject it. Never take into consideration what your child feels and make him or her feel completely rejected and isolated.

Disrupt Your Child’s Social/Love Life

Don’t let them go with friends. Ask about all the guys they are dating and be sure to put a big X mark on their list. Forbid your child from going to social gatherings, sports events and other recreational activities so they won’t develop social and communications skills.

Expect Them to Complete Your Unfulfilled Ambitions

If you are frustrated with yourself because you didn’t become a rocket scientist or a musician, let your child reach this dream for you even if he or she doesn’t want it. Tell your kid that if he or she will not work hard enough to meet that dream, you are going to get mad and will go away and never return.

By doing these things, you can be sure that your child will grow up emotionally tender and have problems with affection and their future career. We don’t want this to happen, so ensure the above pointers are not repeated.

Dear Readers,

As therapists what can you suggest to parents who are having issues maintaining an emotional connection with their kids?

Share your comments below.