Want to Be Successful? Stop Doing These Things

Rebecca Lewis June 10, 2015

We are who we think we are, so goes a popular saying. It is a sad truth, but too often, we are our own worst enemies. Whilst we try hard to prevent others from pulling us down, we are unconsciously doing things that hinder our own success.

We are referring to the negative habits and behaviours that most of us think are good but actually are not. What are these things?

Being too critical with ourselves.

When we say or do something embarrassing, we curse ourselves. When we make mistakes, we again curse ourselves. When we failed at something, we do the same thing. We try to hurt ourselves in moments when what we really need is self-compassion. In most cases however, it is more important and helpful to learn from those situations and move on, than continue beating ourselves up psychologically. So the next time you find yourself saying all those hurtful words against yourself, make a conscious effort to stop. If you ever want to be successful, you need to learn how to love yourself a little more first.

Comparing ourselves to others.

Many of us are fond of comparing themselves to other people. Like when we see on Facebook that your high school peers have made huge accomplishments already whilst you are there alone, stuck in a work that you never liked, we tend to feel bad about ourselves and engage in self-pity. What we don’t often realise is that comparing ourselves to other people is one of the easiest ways to kill our enthusiasm to persevere more in life and reach our goals, no matter how impossible they may seem. Comparing oneself to others is counterproductive and is harmful to the self-esteem.

Staying stuck in the past.

Our past is always, and will always be a part of us. We can’t ever change the past, nor can we accurately predict what is going to happen in the future. But even though our past is always part of who we are today, we shouldn’t be stuck in it, especially in the painful parts of our past. All of us have something in the past that really bring us pain. But holding on to them takes a lot of energy, and thus, hinder us from moving forward and focusing on our goals. If you are unable to let go of the painful memories like trauma, it can be helpful to seek help from a professional therapist.

Saying ‘yes’ when we want to say ‘no’.

Seeing other people appreciating us and acknowledging our efforts really makes us feel special. But it can backfire too, especially if we end up doing things that we really don’t want to do, just to win their approval. Sometimes, it is better to be honest and say ‘no’ to someone else’s request when you know that saying yes is not possible, and would only lay too much burden on your shoulder.

Not giving ourselves time to take a break.

When we talk about success, we talk about the hard work – all efforts poured to make our dreams happen. We rarely talk about having a break, going on a vacation, relaxing, and spending quality time with friends and family. We just think about our plans, our goals and the strategies to apply to achieve such goals. But the truth is that successful people have mastered the art of work-life balance. They don’t isolate themselves from other people, especially friends and family. Rather, they incorporate those that they love, including their hobbies, into their goals.

If you want to be successful, stop doing these things. Stop doing things that sabotage your efforts to achieving your goals.