Using Therapy to Deal with Identity Issues

Julie Hills Counsellor / Psychotherapist in Ruislip November 27, 2015

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You probably heard about “identity crisis” many times already. Common as it may seem, it is among the toughest concepts to understand. Nearly every one of us goes through identity crisis. It isn’t something that only teens experience (although it is too common among them). Identity problems can strike at any point of our life, even in the old age. And the reason for this is that identity is something that is rooted in every one of us. Generally, identity is something we associate ourselves with. For instance, a person can identify him/herself as a child, parent, a member of a particular religious group, an employee, etc. Even more personally, they can identify themselves as a loser, a failure, or someone who is helpless.

How Identity Problems affect our Life 

People are not born with an identity. It is something we pick up as we grow and experience things. As we grow older, we identify ourselves with other people, places and things in so many ways. And whether through mistaken beliefs, past experiences, or developmental delays, identity problems can cause a person a great deal of distress, lack of perspective and direction, and a deep sense of hopelessness.   

Issues with self-identity can lead to two major problems - poor self-esteem and low self-efficacy. Poor self-esteem occurs when you come to believe that you are of little value, that you don’t matter at all. It’s rejecting the fact that like anyone else, you are unique and endowed with skills and talents. People with low self-esteem see themselves as a failure, and blame their ‘worthlessness’ as the reason for all their suffering. They come to believe that no one would like them or accept them, and that they wouldn’t succeed in anything. 

Low self-efficacy, on the other hand, is the inability to take control of one’s life. All of us need to feel that we have certain control over our life. Low self-efficacy would mean that we are unable to courageously face challenges that come our way. People who feel helpless to change the negative situations they are in tend to get depressed, as they lack the sense of control over their life, which is critical to developing resilience and overcoming trials in life.  

How Therapy Can Help with Identity Issues 

One may find him/herself struggling with identity issues which can result to depression, addiction, and many other mental health problems. Seeking help from a therapist who is trained to handle gender identity issues is a great step towards feeling better once again, and finding your true self. Counselling provides a nurturing and non-judgmental environment for people to explore their emotions, fears and feelings. There are individual and group therapies where one can openly express how they feel, be heard, and learn more about themselves. Meanwhile, family therapy can help foster better communication and understanding. Through therapy, they can learn about ways to cope with their struggles, reduce the depressive feelings, and ultimately find themselves in the process.