Top Signs You’re Being Hard on Yourself

Amy Taylor December 10, 2015

They say “loving yourself is the greatest love of all”. But does this resonate with you? Are you treating yourself well or are you being too tough on yourself? We all encounter situations wherein we are forced to push ourselves to our limits. It could be due to commitments, responsibilities, personal and career goals, etc. We try so hard to meet our expectations that we no longer give the attention our mind, body and spirit need.

If think you are being too hard on yourself, now is the time to start slowing down. Not only does lack of self-compassion make you unhappy, it also takes a huge toll on your health.

If you are not sure whether you are treating yourself well or not, here are some significant signs that you are being hard on yourself.

You’re just unkind to yourself.

If you love pleasing people and showing them how you value them in such way that it is already hurting you, it means you are being less kind to yourself. When someone in the family or friends makes mistakes or commits failure, we empathise and try to comfort them, assuring them that everything is going to be okay and that life must go on. But when it comes to ourselves, accepting these facts is most of the time, difficult to do. If you are setting too high standards to yourself, now is the time to think things through and commit to lowering the bar. Remind yourself that everyone, including yourself, deserves to be treated with kindness.

You seek perfection.

Do you always feel like you are never good enough? Do you have zero tolerance for errors? Do you fear failure? Perfection is such a big word. Too often we try to achieve it. But the reality is that nothing and no one is perfect. Our imperfections are basically what drives growth, improvement and satisfaction. Imagine everyone being perfect. Living life will never be that exciting and challenging at all. There is not harm in seeking great, but let us do away from seeking perfection. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Remember, even the best fall down sometimes.

You don’t seek help.

If you are the kind of person who never runs to someone for comfort and support during the most difficult moments of their life, you are being way too cruel to yourself. Some people hide their emotions and wear a mask every day to work, school and everywhere they go just to hide the sadness and helplessness without realising that sooner or later, the unwanted emotions will burst out. There is no wrong in turning to other people, especially those you trust, amidst challenging moments in your life. You may be even surprised to find that there are many people who have always wanted to be there for you. Life becomes easier when you have supportive people around. They are priceless treasures that you must always value.

You keep punishing yourself.

Because you didn’t hit your goal last month, you deprived yourself from any vacation this month. Because things at work didn’t turn out well, you stayed away from friends and family and confined yourself in the office trying to do better. You are being too harsh on yourself when you only see your shortcomings, never your achievements, which in turn makes you punish yourself all the time. And when things are going great, you feel guilty (thinking that you don’t deserve it). So instead of being happy, you choose to be sad. Treat yourself like you’d treat a special person in your life. Instead of hurting and punishing yourself over and over again, choose to treat yourself right, with love, empathy and gratefulness.

When was the last time you treated yourself so badly? How did it affect your life? And what did you do to make yourself feel better again?