Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

Rebecca Lewis August 21, 2013

Nearly all people have regrets. Some regret giving up on their dreams too early, others regret for chasing the wrong path. Some people regret after saying hurtful words to a loved one whilst others regret not being able to say their true feelings. Regret is a negative cognitive or emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome or wishing we could undo a decision or choice we already made. Regret often brings deep pain and unhappiness, and prevents us from making a fresh new start in life.

In 2012, an Australian nurse wrote a book about the “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” which was based on her interactions with patients. She made a summary about the most common regrets of people. Here they are:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Many people spend their entire life trying to please other people. They would pursue the career path their parents or family want, even if it means sacrificing their own happiness. But the thing is we only have one life to live. Doing the things you don’t like doesn’t only result to poor productivity and performance, but also to reduced happiness.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

Sometimes, we work so hard out of routine, to meet other’s expectations, or as an addictive behaviour. Many of us take our office works at home and reduce our sleeping time to get more work done. But spending too much time on work can take a big toll on your health and well-being, especially your relationship with others.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Letting others know how much we love them, saying ‘sorry’ to those we have done wrong, and standing up for our own beliefs are sometimes a difficult challenge because we could be hurting our pride or ruining a relationship. But learning how to be aware of our emotions and expressing them in a skilful way is essential to happiness.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

At some points in life, we will meet new people and become friends with some of them. It is essential that we try hard not to lose that bond. Numerous studies have given credits to the overwhelming benefits of friendships or positive social relationships. Nowadays, there are so many ways to stay connected with our friends. Now, the people we love are just one chat, call or text away.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Happiness is a choice. Even in the verge of calamity, stress and anxiety, we have the choice to focus on happiness. It is also a journey, not a destination. Many people believe that they can only be happy once they’ve reached their dreams in life. But true happiness is something you can experience by living in the moment and enjoying it, and by staying positive.

As you reflect back on the years that passed, chances are you have some regrets, whether big or small. Take a look once again on these five regrets and consider what you can do to avoid them in the first place. Avoiding regrets starts by making decisions that truly reflect what your heart desires.