Top 5 Reasons Why You Can’t Change (for the Better)

Lisa Franchi July 29, 2014

They say nothing is constant in this world but ‘change’. Every one of us has bad habits and undesirable qualities or traits that we want to change. Maybe you are a procrastinator who wants to be more productive, or an emotional eater who wants to lose weight. Maybe you get angry easily or you are ineffective at handling stress. Whatever that thing you want to change about your behaviour, know that it’s not going to be an easy ride.

Remember, you didn’t build that habit overnight. So don’t expect that you can change it in a snap. However, there are things you can do to make things better. And they include avoiding the following mistakes that most people do:

Not taking the ‘baby steps’.

They say ‘dream big, start small’. Taking giant leaps can be risky, and increases the chance of relapse. It can also be very stressful. That’s probably why quitting cold turkey doesn’t work – you can’t just undo a bad habit that you’ve built for years. So instead of taking giant steps, take it slowly – but surely. Whatever that behaviour you are trying to change, you can change it with ease by taking the baby steps.

Just quitting the behaviour and not replacing it.

A proven technique in changing behaviour is not simply stopping it – but also replacing it with a positive one. For instance, if you want to reduce your meat intake, you can successfully do it by eating more vegetables and fruits, or replacing meat with tasty substitutes like tofu.

Relying solely on your willpower.

Experts say willpower is like a muscle. Overusing it can lead to fatigue and pain. Other scientists say willpower is a finite resource. So what do you when you ran out of it? To make positive behavioural changes, don’t just depend on your willpower. You also have to take action.

Waiting for the motivation to spark.

Want to make exercise a hobby? Don’t wait for the motivation to arrive. Just do it! Try one push-up and see what happens, even do it from your knees. Or try to run for just 15 minutes. Once your heart starts pumping up, you will feel more motivated to continue. And the moment you know it – you’ve already spent an hour working out.

Not having clear goals.

So you want to get in shape? That’s your goal. But that’s too abstract. Why not narrow it down into small, practical objectives – say, walking for 15 minutes every morning, switching to orange juice than fizzy drink, eating oatmeal instead of sandwich for dinner, and swimming instead of watching a movie.

Changing ‘for the better’ can be tough, but not that hard as you imagine it to be. You just have to stay positive and stop feeling like a helpless victim. Understand that establishing new and healthy habits is easier than you’ve ever imagined with the right process and by not repeating the said mistakes over and over again.