THESE Are What Friends Are For
What would life be without friends?
They say “no man is an island”. That’s very true. We can’t live without having social companions, as we can’t live without food, shelter or water. Sure we can survive days and weeks without having someone beside us, but life would be one, long melancholic journey that we would rather choose to die than spend it alone.
So today, find time to thank all your friends – especially those who are closest to you. After all, there’s real science showing how friendships can actually benefit our physical, mental and emotional health.
They can turn a bad day into a good one.
Your friends can lift you up when you are down. Researchers at Concordia University have found that making new friends can lift your spirits through the release of oxytocin in the body. Oxytocin, also called the ‘love hormone’, is traditionally studied for its role in childbirth and breastfeeding, and more recently for its effect on social behaviour. The research, published in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology, shows that oxytocin can increase a person’s trust in others following social rejection.
They help you battle with a disease.
In addition to your family, your friends serve as your support system. Having a friend by your side can make big challenges seem smaller, and health issues are not an exception. Friends can offer you the emotional, moral, and sometimes financial support needed to overcome an illness. They are more than a ‘shoulder’ to cry on. In a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers asked participants to stand at the base of a steep hill and estimate how tough it would be to climb. Those standing with a friend gauged the ascent to be less steep compared with those who were alone. Findings suggest that the longer the study participants had known their friends, the gentler they estimated the incline to be. That is, for these people, their illness becomes less deadly. Furthermore, the study, carried out by Harvard researchers, has shown that breast cancer patients with no friendship network are four times more likely to die from the disease than those with ten or more close friends. Previous studies have also shown that social support can lower blood pressure, protect against dementia, and reduce the risk of depression.
Another research by Rush Alzheimer’s Disease Centre in Chicago gives more evidence that friends and family are the best medicine. They found that the most social seniors had a 70% reduction in the rate of cognitive decline, compared with their least social peers. Friendships can also help alleviate depression, according to a 2014 study reported in the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research. Here, researchers conclude that building a strong connection to a social group helps clinically depressed patients recover and helps prevent relapse.
They help make your life longer (and worthwhile).
Yes, having friends promotes longevity. Whilst they may not impact our life immediately, they will, later on, according to a 2009 study. The research, published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, found that people who keep up with their BFFs have longer life expectancies. According to the researchers, good friends can keep you from dying earlier, possibly because friends can be good influences for healthy behaviours. For instance, they help us quit smoking or stop drinking alcohol, and encourage us to exercise, lose weight, etc.
They increase your sense of belonging.
Having friends make you realise that you are not alone in this world. You may have varying problems, interests, hobbies and all sorts of differences, but good friends understand and support each other. Knowing that you are not alone is enough to significantly boost your happiness, and increase your motivation and strength to go through difficult times.
They influence you to practise compassion.
Being a friend means staying with that person not only through good times but through bad times as well. Reaching out to others, helping them ‘until it hurts’ (without expecting anything in return), and empathising are all forms of compassion. Research shows that people who are very socially connected are those who are more compassionate. That is because they have that ability to feel others’ feelings. In one small study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers found that humans’ sense of compassion actually increases when there’s a common connection with the other person. But what does compassion do to your life and health? Well, this and this can tell.
They keep you calm.
Having good friends can really decrease your stress levels. Maybe you have experienced how it makes you feel better after confiding your problems with a friend. Even just a small chat with your BFF after a hard day’s work can boost your mood and ease your stress. A 2001 small study can attest to this. Here, researchers found that being around a best friend decreases levels of the stress hormone cortisol during difficult situations.
But having good friends require being a good friend too. Here are several tips to develop and maintain strong relationships with your friends:
Keep in touch. A short text message asking how they are doing, or a short phone call, is a simple yet powerful way to keep in touch, especially when you can’t meet and see each other. During special times of the year (such as birthdays, Christmas, etc.), consider sending them a card or a gift.
Give time for them. Whilst the social media has given us a way to keep in touch, nothing beats the feeling of being together and spending quality time. Yes you may all be busy, but you must make time to be with your friends. Schedule it early to make sure everyone will be there.
Don’t judge. It’s important not to be too demanding. Everyone has their own shortcomings. If you have issues with a friend, talk to him/her about it – don’t wait until the friendship is broken.
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