Therapy to Get Over a Broken Heart
Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Moving on doesn’t take a day. It takes a lot of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self – Anonymous
Painful experiences are a part of life. When it comes to grief, sadness and loss, we all have a unique story to share. Perhaps, you might agree that one of the most tormenting experiences that a person could go through is to be broken-hearted. When our special someone leaves us or has lost their love and affection, we feel deeply hurt – as if our hearts would shatter into a million pieces. It’s undeniably painful. Sometimes, it’s even hard to breathe.
Love hurts. But here’s the best part – most people do not only recover from heartache, they also love again.
By keeping the following points in mind, we can mend our broken hearts:
Acceptance is the key.
Sounds good, but accepting that we’ve been hurt is definitely hard to do. When we are broken-hearted, denial is usually the first defence mechanism that we resort to, thinking that it will shield us from being hurt further. So we try to push our feelings aside, suppress them, and try to get away. What we don’t realise is that we’re making things more unbearable and prolonging the agony they bring.
By understanding that pain is a part of love, you will learn the art of acceptance. Don’t try to deny that your heart is broken. Feel it instead. Humans are gifted with the unique ability to self-heal. Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Accept the fact that you’ve been hurt. It is the key to moving on.
You are brave enough to overcome this.
Allow yourself to grieve and taste the bitter side of love, but never ever think you can never move on. Look back on the best years of your life. Bring back the memories of the greatest sorrows and challenges you have overcome. Surely, you’ve been through the toughest situations. What else could you not defeat?
Your loss could be an inspiration to someone.
When we are in deep emotional pain, we tend to focus all our attention and energy to ourselves. We think that because we are broken, we could never help fix someone else’s heart. But did you know that one of the best ways to overcome emotional turmoil is reaching out to others? By helping others, especially those who are in the same situation as you are, you are also helping yourself. Practising compassion helps you forget your own miseries even just for a few moments. And with this, you also forget the pain.
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison.
When someone hurts you, you could hold on to anger or choose to forgive. Both have consequences though. Continued feelings of resentment for someone make us bitter and less likely to love and be loved again. But forgiveness helps us focus on the more positive side of life. It makes us hopeful. And when we are hopeful, moving on becomes easier.
Fun makes a broken heart less weary.
It is really hard to find a reason to smile when you’re broken-hearted. But as the old saying goes – laughter is the best medicine. Moving on doesn’t just require you to let the pain linger. You also have to make an effort to smile and have fun. Going out with friends, learning a new skill, spending quality time your family, and all other things that make you feel good will certainly make your broken heart less weary. Even though at the end of the day it still hurts, you are surely to feel blessed and thankful for being able to forget about the pain for even just a split second.
A new world is yet to begin.
Moving on becomes hard when every day, we are reminded of the love that has just ended. If you will just stick to your usual routines, in most times his or her memory will come and make you feel more hurt. Maybe, this is the perfect time to create a whole new world. Meet new friends, visit new places, do different things – anything that will bring a fresh new start to your life.
The opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifference.
Instead of hating that person, learn how to emotionally detach yourself from him or her. Hate doesn’t free us away from being hurt. As a matter of fact, it aggravates our feelings and prevents us from moving on. In his teachings, Buddha tells us that attachment can lead to suffering while detachment liberates us. Don’t rush into finding a new relationship just to fill the emptiness. Don’t desperately try to win your lost love back either. Learn how to set yourself free and everything will fall on its proper place.
Self-love makes us worthy of being loved.
It’s hard to enter into a new relationship without first giving value to self-love. It’s easy to engage in unhealthy habits when we are broken-hearted, such as smoking and alcohol abuse. But they are never going to help. Being ‘loveless’ gives us a great opportunity to take care of ourselves. Perhaps, you could start doing a workout. In a scientific sense, exercising helps improve our mood by stimulating the production of serotonin – the feel-good chemicals in the brain. In the emotional side, it helps you forget even for awhile.
No one is going to pick up those shattered pieces.
It is a natural response to look for someone we can lean on in times of distress and sorrow. But in some cases, we have to learn how to deal with the pain on our own. When you rely on no one but yourself, you are building a ‘tolerance’ and making yourself a better, stronger person.
Love heals.
Never be afraid to love again and again. Nothing could give us pure happiness than loving and being loved. Even if you have successfully moved on from your lost love, it doesn’t guarantee that you will be happy for the rest of your life. It’s not enough that you restore the pieces of your broken heart. You’ve got to let someone in and smoothen the cracks.
Dear Readers,
How has life helped you to overcome heart-break? Is it possible to love again and if so how can we find the strength to do so?
Share your comments below.
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