The Role of Sleep in Your Love Life

Sharon Moore July 29, 2013

Want to make your relationship last? Make sure you and your partner are having enough sleep – every night. New research highlights the role of sleep in different aspects of romantic relationships, particularly to the nature, degree and resolution of conflicts.

Bad Sleep affects Romantic Relationships

Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley conducted a study involving over 100 couples who have been together for at least two years. In two different experiments, the research team investigated the effect of sleep on the couple’s conflict resolution skills, the degrees of conflicts in their relationships, and each partner’s feelings toward the other in relation to their conflicts.

For the first experiment which the researchers called ‘daily experience study’, 78 couples provided daily reports providing details about their night time sleep experiences and any relationship conflicts they dealt with during the day. Couples reported more conflicts on days followed by poor nights of sleep. The study findings suggest that even just a single night of poor sleep increased the likelihood of relationship conflict, even for couples who were generally ‘good sleepers’.

For the second experiment, couples participated in videotaped discussions about the usual causes of conflicts in their relationships. The activity involved rating down their behaviour and their partner’s behaviour, specifically in how they do well in resolving conflicts. They also detailed their sleep experiences the night before. In this experiment, the researchers found that couples who had poor sleep had more negative feelings to each other when they gave reports. They also exhibited less empathy and were less skilled at reading each other’s emotions.

Poor sleep was also shown to negatively impact the couple’s ability to resolve conflicts. On the other hand, couples who slept well before the task resolved most often the conflicts they encountered.

Enhancing Sleeping Experience

The current study adds to the increasing evidence on the role of sleep in the health and happiness of people in romantic relationships. Previous scientific studies have also linked sleep with relationship quality. In one study for instance, University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, researchers highlighted the link between the quality of sleep couples had each night and their daily relationship function. Their findings show that sleep quality and relationship quality are capable of influencing each other. Researchers found that having positive sleep experience resulted to positive daily interaction. Another study conducted by the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Brigham Young University on the sleep-wake habits and relationship function found that an early riser married to a night owl, for example, experienced more relationship conflicts. They also spent less time in shared activities and had sex less often than those whose sleep-wake habits were aligned.

Fortunately, addressing sleep issues can significantly improve the romantic relationships of couples. Here are some tips for a good night’s sleep:

· Sleep together. One way to improve your sleep pattern is to sleep together. Set a regular bedtime schedule. Sleeping and waking up on a fixed schedule helps maintain the normal functioning of your bio clock.

· Limit your bedroom activities to sex and sleep. Avoid using the computer, watching TV, or playing video games in bed.

· If you find it hard to fall asleep, get up from the bed and do something you find relaxing like reading a book or practising breathing techniques, then get back to bed.

· Act on sleep disorders you or your partner may have. Consulting a professional therapist can greatly help.

· Observing a healthy lifestyle is also important. Eat healthy foods, avoid smoking and drinking too much alcohol, exercise regularly and effectively manage your stress levels.

Can you suggest other ways to promote good sleep? Share your insights by posting a comment below.