The Psychology of Midlife Crisis: Separating Facts from Myths

Rebecca Lewis July 18, 2013

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Every one of us reaches a point in life when we stop and take time to realise that we are already ‘getting older’. But many people perceive this major life transition in a negative way, associating it with anxiety and fear.  They call it “midlife crisis”.

First introduced in the mid-1970s, midlife crisis is widely used to describe people in their 40s or 50s who are living the ‘unhappy’ years in their life and making unrealistic transformations to cover it up. For psychologists though, midlife crisis is a normal part of adult maturation. Erik Erikson who is known for his work “The Eight Stages of Development” defined midlife crisis as a transition during the stage "middle adulthood" when people naturally struggle with questions about their meaning and purpose. According to him, with necessary adjustments, it is possible for people to make the last stage of their life more satisfying.

The ‘uh-oh’ moment

Natural as it seems, we often welcome this normal transition with anxiety once we realise that life is passing by us. Those who have already established their goals and have so much joy and contentment with their current status in life are less likely to feel worried and alarmed by the thought of entering the “old age”. But the others who have made incorrect choices in their younger years tend to feel deeply troubled, thinking that they have a “little time left” to do what they really want. Their anxiety is aggravated by the disappointment or frustration that comes whenever they look back to the years and realise how many goals were unattained, and how many chances or opportunities were missed because they were afraid to take risks.

A lot more definitions have been tied to midlife crisis. Some psychologists believe that it is when people at various ages and for various reasons, reflect back on their lives and wonder “what’s next”. Some refer to it as an emotional response to the stresses in life – unhappy marriage, financial problems, job dissatisfaction, etc.

Hearing the term “midlife crisis” makes many people feel uncomfortable. It’s because this concept is tied to a lot of myths that have no scientific basis.  Here are some of them:

It’s common to experience midlife crisis. Blame the media for this. The idea of midlife crisis which took place in 1960s is not supported by empirical research and is mostly based on anecdotal evidence. We all go through difficult transitions in life, regardless of age.

Feeling sad is part of growing old. As we age, we become more vulnerable to health problems. We are also at the stage when some of our dearest friends and relatives may die. All these circumstances make people assume that sadness comes with ageing. But researchers have found that as we grow older, the more positive our perspective becomes. It has been posited that this positive effect is a natural reaction of people once they realise that time is running out and therefore it is more important to make the most of it.

You get wrinkles as you age. It’s true that wrinkles are more likely to develop as we age but it isn’t always the case. Many people in their 50s have skins that are as good-looking as that of a 20 year-old. And even those who have fine lines don’t really make a big deal out of it. As we age, so does our face and all parts of our body. It is normal and inevitable. Some people even take pride of their “laugh lines” and believe that they help them look wiser and wittier.

Getting back into shape is a punishment. Alright, so you eat lots of fries and burger when you were young? Is it payback time once you hit old age? Another myth in midlife crisis is that improving health is stressful at this stage. Well, not really. As a matter of fact, it is the best way to make old age a more rewarding experience. When we exercise, our brains release chemicals that make us feel good. Physical activities also strengthen our muscles and make us more energetic. When we are lean and healthy, we are less likely to develop age-related diseases. This means we could have more time with friends and family, not with our GPs. The opportunity to improve health is a reward not a penalty for getting old.

Midlife crisis makes you yearn for young, tight flesh. Just because they are old don’t mean they couldn’t enjoy sex or have a fulfilling romantic relationship with their spouses. Many people believe that midlife adults tend to find partners who are younger than them. But actually, most of them enjoy not just sex but the ties that bind them, as well as the companionship, care, and love provided by their significant others over the years.

We blame our age for being forgetful. We often associate forgetfulness with old age. But the truth is, people forget things from time to time, no matter how young or old they are. It’s just that as we age, our brain’s processing speed might be a little slower than that of a teenager or young adult. In midlife adulthood, there is something more special. At this point, people develop the ability to intelligently analyse facts and make sound judgements.

Midlife crisis may sound like a negative thing but it is not really. It’s a normal process that gives us an opportunity to discover ourselves even better, help us find our real purpose, and motivate us to make the most out of life.