The Importance of Confession: Lies, Truth and Deception
January 17 was just an ordinary day for most people in the world. But for Lance Armstrong, that day was the day he ended his life-long career, dropped his seven Tour de France titles, and lost the people’s trust and love. On the brighter side, that was the day he began a life that’s free from deceptions.
In his interview with Oprah Winfrey, Armstrong confessed that all through his sporting career, he used performance-enhancing drugs. "I deserve to be punished. I’m not sure I deserve a death penalty.” He said, referring to not being able to engage in sports ever again. It is to be noted that Armstrong has been confronted with this issue for many years but he denied all the allegations until his interview with Oprah on Saturday. He revealed how it impacted his life and his family. Armstrong said he hoped his life ban on sports be lifted out but said it is very unlikely. It’s funny how he still shows great enthusiasm to continue biking despite the massive and unbearable consequences of his confession.
The Danger of Keeping Secrets
Some people lie all the time. Many of us have secrets they really don’t want to confess. Well, I think you will agree if I say not all secrets are worth revealing. There are things in life that we need not tell anyone else about as they may not affect other people. In fact, most lies aren’t meant to hurt others.
However, there are also things that we have to reveal because not doing so would lead to terrible consequences.
But how do we know whether or not we have to reveal our secrets? Perhaps, the secrets we should not keep are those that force us to behave in a negative way and cause harm to ourselves and to others.
In the case of Armstrong, we know he had to confess even though he is very likely to face his ‘death penalty’. Why? Taking drugs to enhance his performance could have brought serious effects not just to his health, but also to his relationship with friends, family and fans. His goal of being on top of the sporting world forced him to bet his life, his loved ones, his charity and all the things that are far more valuable than the fame and riches the world of sports can bring.
The Art of Confession
We know lying is bad. When you lie, you just don’t deceive yourself but also other people (including those who care about you more). But what happens the moment you confess? Will it free you from guilt? Will it free you from the pain you’ve caused? Will it make your life more worth it? What happened to Armstrong? Didn’t he lose millions of dollars? Didn’t he lose his fans? And most of all, didn’t he lose his most loved sport?
Yes he did. But in exchange of such a big loss, he gained something back – something bigger and more important. He may not yet see it during such a difficult time but I greatly believe he has started to regain his SELF-WORTH.
But what’s does self-worth has to do with lying?
In many cases, our desire to prove our self-worth becomes so high that unknowingly, we are already deceiving ourselves and other people. If you’ve ever had that feeling when you want to prove that what others think about you is wrong – that you’re more than that, and you are capable of doing greater things, you must have come so close to deceiving yourself. There’s no harm in trying to be better or to be the best we can be. But too much expectation on what we can do could do us more harm than good as it force us to develop a ‘win at any cost’ attitude. The more we try to prove our ‘self-worth’, the more we strive harder to be the best. So whenever we make achievements, we just don’t seem to appreciate them. Instead, we work harder. And when we fail to meet our expectations, we feel extremely deprived and discouraged. And many times, we will be lured to try things that will help us achieve more even if they do have harmful consequences.
Recovering Self-Worth
Dreaming high and wishing for the best is never a bad idea. But our paths to success should be taken in a way they won’t compromise our self-worth. Recovering our self-worth does not mean we have to give up our goal and settle for less. Here are things you can do:
Make an honest assessment of yourself.
In a quiet place, think about the things you’ve done in life to achieve your goals – all of them. If you feel like writing them down, do it. Make a list of everything – good or bad – that you did to try to achieve your goals. The destructive ones should be properly marked and highlighted, for they need extra attention. Make an honest assessment. How bad these things were? How did they affect your life and the people around you? If you continue doing these negative ways, what could be the lasting effects in the long run?
Don’t limit yourself to just a single goal.
We all have different goals in life. But sometimes, we stick to the one we think would give us the greatest self-fulfilment. But the more you focus on one goal, the little time you’ll have for other important endeavours. Make sure you have time to spare for other things you value in life – may it be your favourite sport, your favourite past-time or hobby, your favourite TV show, etc.
Seek help.
Losing self-worth is a serious problem that needs immediate attention. It is something you just can’t deal with alone. Often, you will need guidance from a professional therapist. He or she can help you assess how ‘effective’ or ‘destructive’ your journey to your gaol has been, and what can be done.
When is the Best Time to Confess?
It really takes courage to confess and apologise to everyone else affected by our lying. But for me, it’s much better to confess at the soonest possible time. But of course, there are exceptions. In some instances, we really don’t want to create more serious conflicts. There are so many things to consider – the time, the place, the event and situation, and so on. Nevertheless, what is more important is that we make an effort to stop whatever kind of deception we created and make a commitment not to do it again. I guess being sincerely sorry for what you did and doing the best that you can not to make the same mistake again is what really matters. Armstrong may have done things that have infuriated many of us. But telling the truth is perhaps the first step to correcting his flaws. Just as the old saying goes – ‘the truth will set you free’.
Dear Readers,
Have you ever confessed some of your deepest secrets to someone? How did it feel? Did you find peace of mind or did it worsen the situation? We’d love to hear your thoughts.
Share your comments below.
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