The Good Thing about Feeling Bad

Rebecca Lewis January 22, 2015

All of us only want to experience nothing but positive emotions. And many are willing to do whatever it takes to find happiness. Even researchers all over the world are into a comprehensive scrutiny to find out what could make us more optimistic, happier, and so on. On the other side, no one wants to feel bad. We hate the word ‘loneliness’, ‘anger’, ‘envy’, and all those negative emotions. Whenever we feel them, we do our best to try to suppress them. We feel ashamed of these emotions, and we berate ourselves for feeling them.

But do we have to?

Since such emotions are aversive, we call them “negative emotions”, although there are really no positive or negative emotions. They are basically distinguished by what makes us feel good or what makes us feel bad. But no matter how bad they are, we experience such emotions because we are bound to feel them. They exist not just because they are part of human nature, but more importantly because we need them. Imagine yourself not able to feel any negative emotion like anger or fear. Other people would then easily take you for granted, use you to their advantage, exploit you, and hurt you over and over again. And if you have no sense of fear, you can’t ever survive in this world where danger and threat is almost everywhere.

It is important for us to realise that each component of emotion – good or bad – has its purpose. For instance, feelings of envy urge us to improve ourselves, feelings of anger and dissatisfaction push us harder to reach our goals, and embarrassment allow us to undo our mistakes.

Negative emotions are instruments of survival. We feel them because we need to, and not because the Creator wants to make our life more complicated or burdensome. Ironic as it may sound, we feel negative emotions because they are critical for us to experience the good. Think of the world without sadness or loneliness. For sure, you won’t ever realise how good it is to feel happy and connected. To live and endure the challenges, we need to feel these emotions.

Neither do we have to suppress them. Emotions, especially the bad ones, just get stronger the more we try to conceal them. However, we should not let them control us. Emotions can just guide us in making decisions, but they shouldn’t be the one to run our life. Because when you let these negative feelings rule you, you become powerless, and you end up doing or saying things you will simply regret in the end.

So how do we effectively with the emotions we don’t like?

The answer would fall down to emotional regulation. It is possible to learn new ways to regulate your emotions. These are most commonly referred to as coping mechanisms because they allow one to cope with overwhelming or painful emotions. Emotional regulation is referred to as the conscious or non-conscious control of emotion, mood, or affect. It is commonly known as “coping mechanism”. Emotion regulation is the ability to think constructively about how to cope with things, not to be overwhelmed by them.

Like stress, negative emotions are something we can’t avoid. Whilst they are considered “bad”, they have a vital role in our health and well-being. They are at the core of human survival. But many times, we only need a fraction of these emotions to get through. We shouldn’t allow them to overpower us, and affect our decision-making ability. We should always give more focus on harnessing positive emotions and making them a centre of our lives.