The 9 Causes of Hopelessness and How to Overcome Them
What triggers the feeling of hopelessness? Scientists who studied the suicide notes of some ancient Romans and Greeks found one thing in common – those who feel hopeless find themselves being trapped in an impossible situation.
According to experts, there are nine types of hopelessness and each of them is linked with three important elements: attachment, mastery, and survival. When one or more of these elements are under threat, we begin to feel ‘hopeless’. Hopelessness is a destructive emotion that can significantly affect your well-being. Failure to overcome hopelessness could lead to more severe problems, such as depression.
Where does hopelessness come from?
Feeling forsaken, abandoned or rejected
Forsakenness usually attacks our sense of attachment and survival. Being forsaken means feeling rejected, ignored or abandoned in times when you badly need someone to hold on to. To counter this negative emotion, it is important to stop focusing at one side of the matter. Many people who feel forsaken tend to make judgements based on one or few life’s experiences. For instance, they usually think that being ignored by someone means being ignored by everyone else. Being open to the wondrous possibilities that life has to offer is the key to overcoming this kind of hopelessness.
Feeling Alone
People who feel alienated think of themselves as ‘unworthy’ of love, care and affection. They think they do not belong, a fact that alienates them from others. Alienation can be very destructive as it prevents us from recognising our positive side. Negative past experiences may often make you alienated. But this can be countered by giving time to assess or evaluate your emotional self, including how people see and feel you. Also, you have to stop trying to read minds as it can lead you to false conclusions about how others think of you.
Being Uninspired
Lacking enough resources to pursue your goals, meeting problems and obstacles in almost every road you take, and having grown in a not-so conducive environment can leave you feeling uninspired. It is easy to get discouraged by a lot of difficulties that are coming your way. But the more you make yourself feel uninspired, the more difficult things become. Optimism therefore plays a big role in overcoming hopelessness. If you can’t find inspiration from the things going on around you, motivate yourself by looking forward – to your goals and dreams. Imaging being there, until you can almost taste the future. The good feeling it brings will certainly inspire you and make you more hopeful.
Powerlessness
People who lack control of their lives, as well as those who have no power to make their own decisions usually experience severe feelings of hopelessness. According to psychologists, there are three cognitive mechanisms that underlie powerlessness – discounting the positive, personalization, and labelling. People who cannot see or appreciate their talents and gifts normally discount (or set aside) achievements they make and resort to thinking that they are ‘worthless’. To overcome powerlessness, try making a list of your successes, no matter how small they are. In your list, include every unique abilities and skills you have. Sometimes, we just have to remind ourselves that we are good in order to realise that we really are.
Being in a Difficult Social Situation
Oppressed individuals often engage in personalisation and self-blame. Because of their situation, they fall into thinking that they can no longer move forward. Overcoming hopelessness brought by oppression can be done through reattribution – a process that involves assessing the possible causes of your negative emotions and effectively responding to them, instead of avoiding them.
Self-Deficiency
People who lack financial resources and those who have physical impairments often find themselves unable to cope with life’s challenges and lacking what’s necessary to achieve success. They think they are innately deficient and there’s nothing in the world that could fill their limitations. Over-focusing on your limitations may lead you to self-labelling which does not only affect your well-being but also challenges your level of self-worth. To counter this kind of hopelessness, it is important to avoid making negative self-labels, or redefining these labels to more encouraging ones.
Doom
Most people who have been diagnosed with life-threatening diseases are overwhelmed with the thought of dying. Thus, they feel doomed, hopeless, and trapped in the dark shadows. Experts recommend focusing on the risk of survival, not on the risk of dying. Feeling ‘doomed’ only makes you weaker and impossible to recover. But if you focus on the brighter side, you will give more time getting information on how to fight the disease and seek all kinds of support and therapy you can have.
Physical and Emotional Captivity
Being captive doesn’t just mean being held as a prisoner by other people. It can also mean being trapped in an abusive relationship, being treated like a slave, or being deprived of the freedom and the right to make your own decisions. This is called ‘emotional captivity’. Manipulators come in all ages, shapes and sizes. Spouses, children, men, women, co-workers, bosses, and strangers can become a manipulator of someone else’s life. One great way to overcome captivity is to break free from the emotional ties that force you to stay in such kind of relationship. Assess and understand these emotions and little by little, get them off from your mind.
Learned Helplessness
Traumatic experiences and frequent exposure to stressors can make an individual developed the so-called ‘learned helplessness’. People who feel helpless think that they can no longer live safely in the world. They think they have no purpose in life so they live each day in pure agony. Understanding its main cause is the key to overcoming helplessness. It can be helpful to learn some ’normal’ coping behaviours from individuals who are in a ‘healthier’ situation than you.
Dear Readers,
Was there a time in your life when you felt extremely hopeless? What did you do to make yourself better?
Share your stories by posting a comment below.
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