Supporting a Loved One in Times of Grief

Amy Taylor May 23, 2014

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Watching someone you love grieve is never an easy thing. It makes you suffer too. But often, we try to avoid friends and family members who are in grief because we don’t know what to say or do, and how to deal with them. We are hesitant to reach out because we are afraid that we might just aggravate their feelings. Fortunately, there are some things we can do to comfort them. Consider the following tips:

Acknowledge the Grief

You might be hesitant to bring up the topic or talk about your loved one’s grief. But for this person, the source grief is omnipresent. If you ignore their grief, they may feel like you don’t care. You don’t have to force the person to talk about it. Just ask how they are doing. That’s already a form of acknowledging their grief. When your loved is ready to talk, he or she will.

Provide a Healthy Outlet for Grieving

If you’re unsure of what to say, plan an activity that can help your grieving loved one cope, relax and forget, at least for a little while. Consider an outing, a vacation or an out-of-town trip. Grieving people may feel isolated and alone, and often don’t have the energy to plan on things like these. But remember to steer clear from activities that require a lot of energy. If your loved one refuses to go, consider asking him or her to just take a walk with you around the block, or have some coffee.

Empathise.

We all have different ways to grieve. Never minimise the loss or tell your loved one that they should be over it by now. It’s easy to judge grief from the outside. Don’t argue. Instead, empathise.

Encourage seeking help.

Grief is painful so it is just normal to feel devastated. But abandoning responsibilities, symptoms of depression, experiencing thoughts of suicide, and not being able to recover from grief for several months or years can signal an underlying mental health issue. At this point, encourage your loved one to seek professional help. Once they agreed, offer your support by accompanying them to the therapist’s office, and asking how they are doing after each session.

Help them maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Recovery from grief is easier when you are healthy. Make sure they are not turning to negative habits and coping strategies such as substance abuse and smoking. Instead, encourage them to make healthy choices, and be prepared to offer help in achieving a better lifestyle.

Don’t let discomfort prevent you from reaching out to someone grieving. Now, more than ever, your support is needed. You might not know exactly what to say or do, but that’s okay. The most important thing you can do to help a grieving person is to be there, ready to support the moment he or she welcomes you. Your support and caring presence will help your loved one go through the pain and begin to heal.