Spanking: Is It Bad for Kids?
All parents want nothing but the best for their kids. They want them to be safe, healthy, and aware of the right and wrong. But in order to achieve all these, disciplining children is necessary. One of the oldest methods used by parents to discipline their children is spanking. It is done for the purpose of correcting a bad behaviour by instilling pain and fear to the child. But because of the increasing studies on its negative effects, the popularity of physical discipline has started to wane.
What Spanking Does to Children
Some parents believe that spanking is an effective way to instil positive behavioural changes in the long-term. However, conditioning by punishment in the form of physical pain, requires the consequence to occur immediately after a wrong behaviour or act has been done. And because parents don’t get to see their children 24 hours a day, and some are not willing or able to spank their children right after every mistake, spanking may be ineffective for changing behaviour in the long-term.
Furthermore, spanking doesn’t appear to guide children in developing good behaviours as these are learned by practicing actions that work. For instance, for children to develop the habit of studying, they should be given access to books and learning materials, and then encouraged to read, write and expand their creativity whilst stimulating their sense of competitiveness. In the contrary, spanking them for missing their after-class review doesn’t promote love for learning, but fear of being hit if they don’t study.
A team of researchers from Duke University, headed by Elizabeth Gershoff, looked into the effects of spanking in children. They found that children who were spanked as one-year-olds are more likely to show aggressive behaviour and perform worse on cognitive tests as toddlers than those who were spared from the punishment. They also found that spanking tends to produce children who are more likely to be delinquent and are at risk of developing mental illness.
Spanking, along with other forms of physical discipline, can lead to undesirable consequences which parents wouldn’t want their children to experience – aggression, mental health problems and low IQ.
Another research published in the journal Paediatrics revealed that harsh physical punishment was associated with increased risk of mood disorder, alcohol and drug abuse, anxiety problems, and several personality disorders. This holds true regardless of the socio-demographic background and family history of the children.
More Effective Ways to Discipline a Child
It is every parent’s role to discipline their children so they grow respectful, obedient, loving and compassionate individuals. But there are better ways to discipline children other than spanking.
Let the child know it’s wrong. A child may look cute when she screams at or hits somebody when she’s still a toddler but when she reaches 5 or 6, you will find this behaviour not really okay. But if you wait till she’s 5 to let your kid know she’s doing something that is not right, it may just confuse her.
Set rules and standards of behaviour. This way, kids would know why they are being punished.
Set a good example. Children learn a lot from what they see in adults, especially in their parents. For them, everything their parents do are correct. So for the child to behave well, the parent should show positive behaviours too.
Consider positive discipline. This is a technique that sees misbehaviour as opportunities to learn new behaviours. For example, after your child has ruined his toy, show him how he could organise his things.
Show natural and logical consequences. This involves letting the child know the consequences of his or her acts. For example, forgetting their lunch will keep them hungry until they get home, not keeping their toy after use could lead to its loss or ruin, and so on. Examples of logical consequences include missing a bedtime story or a planned activity for a bad behaviour.
Appreciate their good behaviours. It’s easy to point out their negative behaviours than their positive ones. But parents should also compliment their kids for their nice behaviours. Sometimes, a pat on the shoulder, a kiss, or a hug in return for a good deed is all they need to stay good and keep doing good.
Can you suggest other ways to effectively discipline a child without spanking? Share your insights by posting a comment below.
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