Social Isolation May Be Killing You

Rebecca Lewis July 12, 2013

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They say the basic needs of men are food, cloth and shelter. But these are not enough for us to survive. Something is missing. Being social beings, we are also in need of friendship.

Long before the Stone Age, humans have already started seeking for companionship. Those who lived in solitary were the ones who died first whilst those who joined a group lived longer. It’s because belonging to a group gives them protection from wild animals and other dangers in the jungle. Belonging to a group gave people peace of mind.

Today, with the help of the latest technology, finding companions is as easy as adding someone on Facebook. The internet made it possible for all of us to meet new people, make friends with them, and expand our social network. But why is it that more and more people are saying that they have ‘no one to confide with’ regarding important matters in life? This problem has persisted for more than two decades, according to a study by Miller McPherson of Duke University. Surprising, isn’t it? Shouldn’t we be making more friends today than before?

Well, it seems that the quality of friendship is much more important than the number of friends we have. It doesn’t matter whether you have only one or more than ten friends. The most important thing is that you are able to establish a relationship based on trust, respect, and compassion.

The Danger of Loneliness

A huge body of research suggests that when our social relationship is not met, we fell apart – mentally and physically. Lack of friends takes a toll on our health. We may not notice it for the time being but the effects all add up and by the time we realise it, we are already ill.

Lack of social connection brings us emotional distress or discomfort. We refer to it as ‘loneliness’. Humans are hardwired to live with others. Just like what they say – no man is an island. The moment we realise that we have a deficiency in social relationship, we begin to feel its emotional impact. We may feel an intense need for social contact but at the same time, feel hesitant to meet new friends. We may feel ‘rejected’ and start to blame ourselves for not being likeable. All these things make us sad and give us feelings of emptiness. We feel isolated, deprived and alone.

Persistent feeling of social isolation results in chronic loneliness. The problem is that this condition further discourages us from being with others.

John Cacioppo, a psychologist at the University of Chicago has conducted several studies on the effects of loneliness. He found that it does not only affect people mentally, but also physically. He found that loneliness raises stress hormone and blood pressure levels. This in turn, undermines the circulatory process and makes it difficult for the heart muscles to work harder and supply blood. This therefore increases a person’s risk of developing heart disease, heart attack and stroke. He also found that is causes inflammation in the body, and learning and memory problems.

Cacioppo also discovered that loneliness destroys the quality and efficiency of sleep. People who are chronically lonely wake up several times at night. They are also more likely to develop sleeping disorders, such as insomnia.

The emotional impact of social isolation, according to Cacioppo, includes higher levels of perceived stress. He found that when lonely people were exposed to the same stressors faced by those who aren’t lonely, they have greater amount of perceived stress, even when they are relaxing.

Another thing, the kind of social interaction lonely people do is not as positive as that of other people. Therefore, it’s less likely to benefit their health and well-being. Social isolation also increases the risk of suicide for both young and old. It is also a common reason why many students drop out from school.

What’s the bottom line? All the facts presented here suggest that all of us, regardless of our age, gender, or race are all in need of companions. As social beings, we are all hardwired to seek social connection. Lack of friends can negatively impact our health and well-being and significantly lower our quality of life. But does that mean that people who have many friends are happier? Not really. We should invest in the quality of friendships we make, not the quantity. To experience the rewarding benefits of social connection, we should strive to create positive social relationships.