Self-esteem
Self esteem is your own personal view of yourself, physically, mentally, and emotionally. We all have different views of ourselves, but keeping a positive outlook will benefit you more than a negative one. Too many people have developed low self esteem for many different reasons (babies are not born underestimating themselves) and they need to build their self esteem, to believe in themselves, in order to live well. Remember, the only one who can make you excel is you yourself. The same goes for self esteem. The only person who can build up, or tear down, your self esteem is you. Although other individuals may contribute to the process, the final decision is yours.
People have poor self esteem for a variety of reasons. Some have poor body image and focus on all the negative traits of their physical appearance. Others have emotional issues that have caused their self esteem to drop or to feel themselves unworthy of any praise. Whatever the reason your self esteem has faltered, the key to building it up again is to find the root of the problem. Think of self esteem like a house: if you build a stunning house on a poor foundation, the entire structure will crumble. However, if you take steps to ensure the foundation is strong and capable of bearing the weight, the process may be slower, but your self esteem will be a soundly built and resilient structure.
People sometimes look for help with improving their self image in books or seminars, and many find them valuable. The number of possibilities on the market is huge, and you are sure to find one on a topic that deals with your specific issues. Check out your local library or bookshop and explore their “self help” section for a book that you may find helpful. It is unlikely that you will find all the answers to all your problems in a single book, but you might find it helpful to know that others are in the same boat and you are certainly not alone.
Additionally, you might seek professional help in your quest to boost your self esteem. Often speaking with a qualified counsellor can help you determine both the root of your problem and the necessary path you should take for the rebuilding process. Perhaps your problem dates back to childhood, or maybe it has recently developed. Whatever the case, an appropriate professional will be able to support you in determining your next step.
A main factor in low self esteem is negativity. Negative thoughts can invade your confidence and cause it to crumble. You might find yourself surrounded by negative people or in a negative situation. Often, individuals in an abusive relationship have their self esteem shattered when a supposed loved one constantly undermines them and questions their worth. Similarly, a negative workplace environment can lower your self esteem if colleagues or bosses are constantly finding fault with your work. Perhaps you have a “friend” who is consistently negative with all surrounding him or her. Whatever the source, distancing yourself from the negativity as far as possible will help you regain your self esteem. Try to include some positive people in your socialising.
If you are going through a rough time in your personal life, you might wish to join a support group. There are also support groups available for individuals with self image issues. These groups can allow you to meet other individuals like yourself, so you learn that you are not alone, and they provide a forum for you to sound out your hopes and achievements.
Take up something new, something you have always wanted to try. Learning and improving will contribute to your positive view of yourself.
However you choose to begin building your self esteem, start today! Be thorough and consistent with the process and be aware it may take a while. Don’t become impatient or despondent if you find your newly improved self esteem slipping. It will recover. You have taken an important step by reading this.
Remember, you are an important and worthy person. Believe it.
©Copyright 2012 by Jonathan Mason, Psychotherapy in Birmingham - All Rights Reserved.