Secrets to Becoming More Powerful (Without Alienating Others)

Amy Taylor February 06, 2013

In the study published in Psychological Science, researchers found that the feeling of having control of things predicted happiness – a fact that is applicable in all aspects of life, from careers to relationships and finances. But what does it take to be powerful?

Great news – you don’t need to be a superstar, a renowned athlete, or the Prime Minister to reap the benefits of being a powerful individual! According to experts, perceived power is much more important than actual power! First of all, you have to think BIG about yourself. Believing that you are incredibly special, that you have the skills, attitude and behaviour to be powerful makes you more comfortable about your real self. And if you feel good about yourself, you stop struggling with trying to impress everyone, suggest Tel Aviv University researchers. In their study, they unlocked the secrets of becoming a powerful individual!

Focus on the things you can control

Work overload can squeeze us to death and make us less in control of our life. Office works are something you do not have control of, unless you’re the boss. So if you feel dead tired and exhausted, take a couple of minutes planning your weekend getaway! Will you be going out of town with your partner? Will you be watching a musical show with the whole family? You’ll be surprised of how the few moments you spend thinking about things like these can relieve you from stress and fatigue, and make you feel powerful!

Tidy your room

A messy desk can trigger feelings of helplessness – the opposite of perceived power. So before starting to work, take a few minutes cleaning your space. Don’t hesitate to invest on organisers, compilers, and some cute décor so you feel motivated all through the workday!

Build yourself up

Powerful people have certain appeal and charisma that many people don’t have. To be like them, you have to exert some effort improving your looks and communication skills. If you behave and talk like a powerful guy, you can easily win the respect of your colleagues. Try to introduce a topic for conversation rather than simply going with the flow and nodding on every little thing they say. Speaking up rather than speaking to be heard makes you more authentic and powerful, according to experts.

Take responsibility over the flaws in your relationship

Sometimes, when our relationship struggles with challenges, we tend to keep ourselves disempowered by blaming our partners for all the flaws, and wishing ‘they shouldn’t have done this’, ‘they should have not done that’. So instead of blaming your significant half during the rough times, take some responsibility for it. Assess your role for keeping the relationship alive and think of ways to make it better.

Organise an activity for your group

Once in a while, be the social planner instead of just going with the flow. Arrange a home party or plan for an out-of-town escapade with your friends, workmates or family. Doing this makes you feel empowered by offering ideas that could influence your peers. Plus, you become happier because you get to do things you really want! But of course, always make sure you consider their ideas and suggestions too!

Boss your guy a little

This doesn’t mean you have to take control of everything of course. You can feel more in control of the relationship by suggesting new ideas, like deciding for the place or activity to do for the coming Valentine’s Day, choosing a movie to watch or a new destination to visit.

Dear Readers,

Through these little things, you can aim to feel more powerful and in control of your real self. What ways can we harness that inner power and act upon it? Is it all in the mind?

Share your comments below.