Overcoming Loneliness: 3 Essential Tools
Nobody wants to be lonely, so goes a popular song. Humans are social beings. We yearn for companionship like we yearn for food. If we need food to process energy, we need friendships and social support to stay motivated and overcome life’s challenges.
Not only is loneliness detrimental to our well-being. It also has a negative impact on our physical health. Research by John Cacioppo, a social psychologist from the University of Chicago, suggests that loneliness is tied to the hardening of the arteries (which leads to high blood pressure), inflammation in the body, and even problems with learning and memory. Worse, lonely people are at risk of dying early than those who interact with others.
Loneliness is something every one of us experiences. We feel it after a break-up with a lover or a friend, when we move to a new place, or when we are excluded from a social gathering. But chronic loneliness is different. It is where all the ill effects come in. The good thing is that overcoming loneliness is possible and it may just take three essential tools.
Awareness
The worst thing you can do is to ignore or deny the fact that you are lonely. Rather than avoiding it, give it your full attention. Stop from whatever you are doing and concentrate on the sensations you feel – the heaviness of your body, the tightening of your chest, and the sadness within you. Figure out what loneliness does to your body, what it makes you feel. Cry if you want to. It may be a very painful moment but after this, things will get better. As you pay attention to the loneliness you feel, try to understand the cause of it. Only then will you be able to find solutions. Are you lonely because your friends no longer have time for you? Are you lonely because your significant other doesn’t seem to care for you anymore? Are you lonely because you are far away from your family? Often, we already have the answers we’re looking for; we just don’t take time to figure out the question.
Acceptance
Next, accept that you are lonely. A lot of people deal with loneliness by running away from it, diverting their attention and engaging in activities that make them forget or give them temporary pleasure. Some punish themselves for being lonely by blaming themselves, thinking that they are unworthy, and by secluding themselves farther from other people. But none of these works. Whilst they may give some relief, loneliness will still seep in at the end of the day. The best thing to do is to acknowledge its presence, and continue being aware of it. Give loneliness a chance to say its message.
Compassion
Be compassionate to yourself and to others. First, think of yourself as your best friend. What would you do to help a lonely friend? That’s right. Show that you care. Remind yourself that loneliness is part of human experience, and everyone else experiences it at one point or another in their life. Give yourself the love, attention and care it deserves. Consider getting support from your friends and family, or if you can’t, talk to a therapist. Allowing yourself to emotionally connect with others is a great way to ease loneliness and prevent it from coming back.
Show compassion towards other people too. At this point, you may feel like you are the one in need. But helping and giving have a very empowering effect. They can lift your sense of well-being, make you feel inspired, and boost your happiness – things you need to overcome loneliness.
Loneliness is a natural human experience. As social beings, we constantly look for companionship throughout our lifetime. Friendships are like food to the soul. We need it to stay emotionally resilient. However, we need to remember that the solution to loneliness is not the quantity of our social connections, but the quality. Of course the more, the merrier, but it’s fine to have two or three friends, as long as you are able to keep a meaningful and satisfying relationship with them.
©Copyright 2013 by http://www.naturaltherapyforall.comAll Counselling Leeds Rights Reserved.