Overcoming Childhood Hurts: 5 Key Steps

Amy Taylor December 08, 2014

It’s really hard to imagine that some of the painful experiences we had decades ago can still affect us in the present moment. Many people underestimate the negative effects of difficult childhood experiences in their life as adults. But not giving attention to it can be detrimental to our mental health.

Maybe you have suffered from rejection when you were still very little. Maybe you have witnessed how your mum cried each night the day your dad decided to leave home. Maybe you have been bullied by your schoolmates in sixth grade. Maybe your cousins didn’t like playing with you. Maybe you felt like an invisible person to your aunts and uncles. Maybe you never had a best friend.

You may have negative memories of the past that keep coming back. But your sad childhood doesn’t have to affect your present life. You can move on from the past hurts and create a healthier and happier present. But yes, it’s not going to be easy. It’s not easy to let go of the painful memories that have haunted you for years. But as they say, you can always take the baby steps.

Below are some things you can do today to overcome the past hurts and create a happier tomorrow.

Stop denying them.

Maybe the reason why you can’t move on from your past hurts until now is because you still don’t accept the fact that they happened to you. However, acknowledging those difficult experiences is the first step in loosening their tight grip on our lives. Going back to those nightmares can be a scary experiences as we are unsure of what else we may uncover. But it is when you take an honest look at our childhood that you start to befriend it again.

Realise that they weren’t your fault.

Next, you have to realise that it was never your fault. We don’t usually have a ‘say’ on our childhood, and even if we did, we don’t have the full control of it. Instead of being angry or judgmental that childhood has left you with pain and scars, be patient and kind toward yourself. That’s where healing starts.

Forgive.

Forgiving can be really difficult and you don’t have to force yourself to do it when you still can’t. Forgiveness takes time. The most important thing is that you’re not closing your door to it. The mind easily forgets. So you have to remind yourself that what you went through was in no way a reflection of the child that you were.

Seek help.

Painful childhood experiences, especially the traumatic ones, can be difficult to overcome without going through the right treatments. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It only means you are really determined to be well and feel better.

Practice mindfulness meditation.

Dealing with the past can be overwhelming. One good way to make it all seem more manageable is to practise mindfulness meditation. You can learn from a professional instructor or by going through some self-help books or videos.

Overcoming past hurts is never an easy task. But healing is possible. By acknowledging them, realising that those painful experiences were not your fault, forgiving other people and yourself, seeking help when needed, and incorporating mindfulness into your daily life, you can learn to move on from the past and live the present with cheer and gladness.