3 Ways You’re Inviting Rejection

Amy Taylor May 20, 2014

Rejection – it’s one of the many things we fear the most. No one enjoys being hurt. No one wants to be rejected. Yet, many of us many of us unwittingly walk into rejection over and over again. Surprisingly, the behaviours that flow from our conscious intention to be accepted are often the culprit.

Rejection – why does it hurt?

Emotional rejection is the feeling we experience when disappointed about not achieving something desired. It is commonly experienced in a quest of emotional relations, such as among romantic couples, in social and group settings, or in the professional world in relation to advancement. The act of rejection can make the person experiencing it undergo a sudden drop in positive emotion.

Here are some ways we invite rejection in our life.

Trying to Avoid Conflicts

Conflicts bring us stress and saps our energy that sometimes, we’d rather keep quiet than start an argument. But not letting someone know your concerns can only makes arguing inevitable. And when that confrontation comes, you just find yourself exploding. You can’t avoid conflicts. Still, you can resolve them. However, when you tell that person what your issues are, try to be as calm and composed as possible. Proper communication is the key towards eliminating conflicts and keeping feelings of rejection at bay.

Being too Agreeable

Are you a crowd pleaser? Do you often see yourself doing something you really don’t like just because someone asked you to and you don’t want to disappoint them? Passive aggressive behaviour could lead to arguments and rejection. It is better to disagree up front than to pretend that it is okay with you. Saying “no” sometimes doesn’t make you a bad person.

Lying

Being open and honest about your feelings and just about everything is important in keeping a relationship healthy and strong. Lying destroys trust, and a broken trust sparks rejection.

Dealing with Rejection

Accept that it hurts. You are a human being and it’s natural if feeling rejected stings a bit. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment or analysis so they can move up and out rather than suppressing them.

Practise self-compassion. Do not add to your suffering by being hard on yourself. Notice your self-talk and redirect it when you begin to downward spiral into negativity. Take a break. Pamper yourself, or meditate – self-compassion is your biggest source of strength at difficult times like this.

Don’t take it personally. Understand and remind yourself that rejection often has nothing to do with you. The truth is that no one and nothing can truly reject you. The only way to truly be rejected is when you deny yourself of your own love, forgiveness and acceptance.

Whenever you feel rejected, remember these: You are loved. You are accepted. You are worthy.