It’s Time to Bounce Back: 10 Strategies to Build Resilience

Sharon Moore May 24, 2013

Have you ever wished you were stronger than you really are? That you don’t get easily offended by insignificant remarks? That you don’t spend months and years lamenting on a failed relationship before deciding to love again? That you can effectively deal with every challenge you face in life, whether it’s about health, money, or relationship? Fortunately, you could. It is possible to strengthen your resilience to life’s difficulties. Here’s how:

Cultivate self-awareness.

Developing self-awareness is a critical aspect of developing resilience. Being self-aware helps us identify and understand our psychological or physiological needs. It helps us pinpoint our stress triggers and all other things that ruin or improve our mood. When you are aware of these things, controlling your emotion becomes an easy task.

Surround yourself with positive people.

The old saying ‘tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are’ is most probably true. Surrounding yourself with positive people helps you develop the same level of positivity that you see in them. These people can make you feel better, and offer you the support you need to get through with life’s difficulties. They may not have all the answers to your problems, but they can definitely make you feel calmer and better.

Understand your limitations.

People with high levels of resilience understand that not everyone has the same response to a problem. Don’t think you can face the situation easily like others do. Trying hard makes you even less resilient. You have to know what your limitations are and focus on improving them.

Accept that there are some things you can’t change.

When we’re in pain, our initial reaction is to hope that it goes away the soonest. Many of us avoid pain, stress and other difficult situations as much as possible. But this does not make us resilient. Resilient people understand that pain and difficulty are facts of life. They don’t try to deny, ignore or repress it. Instead, they face it, no matter how painful it is. The best part is this – they know that no matter how difficult the situation is, it’s only temporary.

Take care of yourself.

Your body is your powerhouse. It’s where you get all the energy you need to survive major difficulties in life. Resilient people don’t feel guilty whenever they pamper themselves. They know it’s the least they can do for their precious body. Persistent stress can put a toll on your health and make you less resilient. So don’t forget to take a break every now and then and recharge your batteries. For a while, forget about your work, your responsibilities, and all the burdens you have and enjoy life as it is!

Be mindful.

We live in a world that’s full of distractions. During highly stressful situations, we often engage in various kinds of distractions in our effort to make ourselves feel better. We go to the pub with friends, surf the web for hours, overeat, use drugs, and do many other things that distract our mind. But at the end of the day, the problem remains and there’s nothing we could do but to face it. Being mindful or giving yourself time to experience whatever emotions you have without judgement or avoidance is one of the oldest and most effective ways to promote self-healing develop resilience.

Seek help.

Being resilient doesn’t mean having the ability to face challenges alone. Part of being resilient is getting help from the right people. Resilient people know who to reach out for support. They know who among their friends or family are going to listen with understanding and empathy, and who won’t. If you’re not comfortable confiding or seeking help from someone, consider talking to a professional therapist.

Consider other possibilities.

The way we see or interpret things and situations can change as we mature. Someday, some of us will come to realise that the negative experience they had in the past was not actually a bad thing. Whilst some things in life can never be changed, some can. When dealing with a difficult situation, consider the possibilities. Try to look at the good side of everything, no matter how bad it appears.

Don’t try looking for all the answers.

The more we try hard to find the answers to the difficult questions in life, the farther we get away from them. Asking yourself all the ‘whys’ can drain your energy and discourage you from finding the best solution to your problem. Its okay to not have it all figured out right now. In time, when you’re ready, you will find the answer.

Let go of the bad feelings.

It’s easy to be flown away by negative emotions but they do nothing but worsen your suffering. So whenever you can, let go of those unwanted feelings. Breathe them out. Write them down on a piece of paper. Don’t try to hide them. Acknowledge the negative emotions you are experiencing and slowly, let go of them.

Resilience is the ability to cope with stress and adversity – a skill that you can master. These tips can help you build resilience and live life to the fullest despite all the challenges you may encounter.