Increasing Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Helen Holmes October 18, 2011

It is interesting to note that a significant factor of an adult’s self-esteem is how he or she developed a sense of self during his childhood years. Whatever positive or negative self-images the child forms is carried on to adulthood, greatly impacting his view of himself and his relationship with the people around him. It is therefore important that as parents and guardians, you are equipped with the proper knowledge on how to raise children so that their self-esteem is boosted for a healthier adulthood.

Ways to Boost Children’s Self-Esteem

As early as the first four years of a child’s life, activities that will give him/her an opportunity to shine in his own light is very important in cementing the child’s overall character development. Here are some of the ways you can support your child in strengthening his belief in himself and his positive view about how he is placed in the world:

Develop independence in the child. Do not always praise him for the simplest achievements; help him plan out a simple goal, let him perform on his own, and watch him glow with pride and self-confidence as he achieves this goal. If a child gets used to hearing your praise for even a very simple task, your praises will start to lose meaning and essence. Reserve praises for when it is truly appropriate.
Let your child fail without your nagging reassurances. When children experience failures and losses, they learn to be more determined in the face of defeat, making their next success very meaningful and noteworthy of real praise. Do not always run to the rescue whenever your child falls short of reaching a goal. If you are always there to catch him from his every fall, you are depriving your child of valuable lessons in determination and self-discovery. When he is allowed to solve his own predicaments and he sees himself succeed, it gives him confidence to take on the next challenges that will come his way.
Do not compare your child with anyone else. Each child is special in his own way. Just imagine your adult self being compared to someone else: it feels quite awful, doesn’t it? That’s how your child would also feel. And the worse is, a child will never forget the times he is compared to other children. It is a serious imprint in the soul of the child.
Give your child responsibilities at home. In that way, he will feel more important because what he does matters in the household. If they don’t get the job done, do not punish them for negligence. Instead, help them recall how good it felt around the house when your child wiped the tables and chairs, for instance. This subtle comment will encourage your child to continue following through his responsibilities.
Love your child unconditionally. Let him feel that he doesn’t need to do anything to earn your love, for he is loved without having to achieve impossible things. The interesting thing is that when you tell your child that you love and accept him for who he is, this motivates the child all the more to embrace positivity and believe that he can do anything because he is already loved even before he has not accomplished any great goals yet.

Self-esteem is a very delicate aspect of our character. As adults we know how most of our depression points stem from insecurities and the inability to believe that we get through problems. Lessen the chances of your child to experience this by strengthening his self-esteem right at the heart of childhood.