How Too Much Fear Can Lead to Bullying

Rebecca Lewis May 15, 2013

Most of us, if not all, have been raised to become obedient. Our parents, grandparents and teachers have probably taught us that we need to be good to others, follow the rules and become compliant so we will be rewarded in the end. We strictly abide by the protocols because we are afraid to face the negative consequences once we didn’t follow them. This mindset of fear, unfortunately, makes many people a subject of bullying.

How does the mindset of fear contribute to bullying?

How do bullies choose their targets? One common thing about children and teens who struggle with bullying is this – they get easily overwhelmed with fear. They are afraid of getting hurt, being disliked by their peers and other people, and being outcast in the group. Whilst fear is a normal emotion, too much of it can pose great threat to a person’s well-being. And often, children having issues with overwhelming fears are among those that were raised to believe that they should never experience any discomfort in life. They are those who are discouraged from taking on challenges – usually spoon-fed and given everything they need to deal with life easily.

Where do these children picked up this kind of perspective? We could only think of one thing – from the adults in their life, the people who also grew up in the same way and simply passing on what their learned. These people were taught that to achieve the ‘easy life’, they should just go with the flow and do what is considered just and right. As a consequence, they become poor role models for their children.

But just as there are children who grew up in fear, there are also others who grew up not caring about the rules. They are the ones who are more likely to seek out and terrorise a classmate who is overwhelmed with fears.

Helping Children Acknowledge Fears

Adults, especially parents, should teach their children that giving into fear is not the best thing to do. To protect them from being bullied, children should learn how to deal with fears. They should learn how to acknowledge their fears and bring them to accept the reality that doing the right doesn’t always protect them from the challenges that they are bound to face in life.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with fear. It is a basic emotion critical for survival. But too much fear makes people a target of bullying. Thus, managing fear and using it to one’s advantage should be taught as early as possible. Children should learn that being good does not have to spring from fear, but out of love and respect for others.

Do you think psychotherapy can play a vital role in reducing the risk of bullying? Share your insights by posting a comment below.