How to Tell if You Are Dealing with a Narcissist
Narcissism is a complex and often misunderstood term. It is used to describe self-focus and self-admiration that is taken to the extreme. People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to have intense, unstable emotions and a distorted self-image.
Narcissists are everywhere. You probably have encountered one or two in your workplace, during your commute, whilst in the restaurant, or even at your own home. Those people, as you may have noticed, tend to be the ones who think they are smarter, hotter and better than you at everything.
However, sometimes, the signs of narcissism are less obvious. They are not always as noticeable as what the media depicts. The following are the traits and characteristics of narcissistic individuals. Check if one of your workmates neighbours or associates have this kind of personality.
They talk about themselves all the time.
You could start talking to a narcissist about what kind of business you want to pursue and pretty soon you will end up talking about how he or she got a car, promoted in the company, and all sort of things about him/herself.
Appearance matters to them (a lot).
Narcissists are not necessarily more attractive than other people. But they give more focus on looking physically attractive. It’s like they get their energy from looking great. You would rarely see them looking haggard. That beautifully hairstyle, well-applied nails, and detailed makeup – those are indications.
They are highly reactive to criticisms.
Even though they don’t say it, and even if they say that they ‘willingly’ accept criticism, the truth is that they don’t.
They are not all loud and proud.
In fact, some are very quiet and shy. Contrary to the popular belief, not all narcissists are loud and proud. Some choose to sat in one corner and fantasise about when their time will come.
They love to make excuses.
Just like everyone else, narcissists do make mistakes. The only difference is that they don’t take credit for the mistakes and instead find something or someone to put the blame on.
They had history of bad relationships.
Most narcissists tend to have issues keeping a relationship. That’s because they are less likely to put their partner’s feelings above their own. Another thing, finding out that someone is attracted to them gives narcissists a sudden self-esteem boost. All these may help explain why infidelity issues are more common among narcissists.
They use to take things personally.
Narcissists do not like not being recognised. If you do something that they don’t like, they might think you are against them, and that angers them. Anything that they perceive is questioning their competence can trigger their robust self-protective mechanisms. So, you often end up resorting to flattery just to maintain a harmonious relationship with narcissists and avoid conflicts (especially if that person is your boss).
They are always online on Facebook.
People with narcissistic personalities use the social media to maintain a status. They like posting attractive photos and self-promoting status updates so they could make an impression that they are simply the ‘best’.
They have the desire to display a ‘high status’.
This is one of the hallmark characteristics of narcissism and people with this personality achieve through material items. Whilst shopaholic people would tell you how good the deal she got on something, a narcissist would emphasise how prestigious that thing is (even though he or she got it only for a half the price).
They have weak interpersonal boundaries.
Unconsciously viewing others as ‘extensions’ of themselves, they regard them as existing primarily to serve their own need. Scientists call it ‘narcissistic supplies’. Whatever narcissists seek to give themselves, they generally expect to get from others, too.
Understanding the behaviour of narcissists may help you deal with them appropriately and prevent their actions from affecting your life.
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