How to “Talk” in Talk Therapy

Rebecca Lewis March 13, 2015

People who read your blog probably know more about you than your therapist. Many people are very open with their emotions on social media, but when it comes to therapy, they hardly break the glass. Talk therapy is one of the best treatments for many mental health issues, from anxiety to post-traumatic stress disorder, all the way to depression. But how will it work when there’s no talking involved?

Opening up to someone, especially the person you hardly knew, is never an easy thing to do. Many of us would choose to express their feelings through social media statuses than to a real person. It is too easy to open up online, but the moment we find ourselves sitting on a chair inside the therapy clinic, we somehow find ourselves incredibly muted.

Opening up with your therapist

How do you open up to your therapist? This is a question most people ask. A lot of us feel overwhelmed at the thought of sharing their deepest, darkest secrets to someone. You may feel fearful about being misunderstood or judged by your therapist, or you might be worried that the pain inside might be too much to handle.

Learning to be more open to your therapist can seem like a real challenge. Whether you’ve made the appointment by yourself, or a friend or family member encouraged you, it can be truly overwhelming. But once you’ve become more comfortable, you will find talk therapy such a healing, insightful and joyful experience. The first few sessions may cause you panic and anxiety, but you have to remember that your therapist is there all along to help you.

In order to get positive results, talk therapy requires effort from the patient too. Below are some ways to prepare for it and make your first session a less stressful experience.

Think of your therapist as a new friend.

The more you think of your therapist as a stranger, the more you feel hesitant to open up. So instead, think of your therapist as a newly found friend. Of course, you don’t dump all your problems all at once to a friend you just met. For the therapist to understand you, he or she needs a starting point. Knowing your background can greatly help the therapist understand where you are coming from and the possible reasons of your problems, and connect with you at a deeper level.

Write down the things you want to talk about.

A great strategy to ease the fear or anxiety about opening up is to write down the things you want to talk about with your therapist. What are those areas in your life that you’re having a hard time dealing with? Do you have questions that you can’t answer on your own? Go ahead and jot them down. Keeping a therapy journal is essential as you may forget some important details you want to let your therapist know especially when the session is making you feel anxious or uncomfortable.

It pays to prepare.

Have you experienced going to a meeting unprepared? Like you are clueless of what it’s all about? Some people don’t prepare prior their therapy sessions as they either think it’s not necessary or it feels like a real work. But yes, psychotherapy is a real work, and sometimes, can be hard. But if you prepare beforehand, you are likely to feel ready about the topics you want to talk about with your therapist. Preparation is important, not just in meetings or therapy sessions, but in all other worthwhile things in life.

Build trust with your therapy.

The most important ingredient in a successful therapy is trust. Talk therapists are trained professionals. And you must know that they have the capacity to hold whatever pain you might share, and deal with you in a non-judgemental way. But trust is something you don’t build overnight. Often times, you’ve got to take it slow. The best way to do it is to take small steps. A good way to start is to tell your therapist your inability to open up. Such kind of honest conversation is a great way to build trust. Next, decide to take risks and share honestly in your therapy sessions. Don’t think that you may be judged. Therapists generally hold genuine empathy, respect and high regard for people they work with.

Your therapist is a stranger only when you look at him or her that way. By taking these small steps, you can deepen your relationship with your therapist and build trust with him or her – two things that have a major impact in the progress of your therapy.