How to Raise Grateful Children

Sharon Moore August 12, 2013

For almost all children, happiness is about having toys, good food in the table, nice clothes, and unlimited time to play and explore their environment. But as people get older, they start to realise that these things aren’t really the key to happiness, but love, compassion and gratitude. However, many parents think that these are issues only the grownups can comprehend. Fortunately, these traits, particularly gratitude, can be learned and developed at a younger age.

There are so many valuable qualities, traits and habits that we want to instil to our children. Why should gratitude be one of them?

Many studies have shown that gratefulness promotes happiness and well-being not just in adults but also in younger people. In a 2003 study by the University of California, Davis, it was revealed that grateful individuals had higher levels of happiness and optimism and lower levels of stress and depression. Another research published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that grateful high school students had more friends and higher grades whilst more realistic students reported more envy, lower grades and less life satisfaction.

Whilst some kids are naturally more grateful than the others, gratitude is a skill that can be learned and developed, with the guidance coming from their parents. If you’re a parent who wants to teach your children not just to appreciate what they have but also to practise gratitude, here are some things you can do:

Be a role model.

Children heavily depend on their parents or guardians when it comes to learning and developing values. If you demonstrate gratitude through words and actions, your children are more likely to develop this essential trait much easier.

Learn about the opportunities to be grateful.

There are circumstances in life that teach us to be more grateful. One way to let children understand the value of the things they have is to let them know that some people their age don’t have as much privilege as they have now. But as children get more mature, they should understand that genuine gratitude is not solely based on comparisons. Other opportunities to develop gratefulness are difficult experiences. Generally, humans begin to be grateful when they suffer. By learning about the opportunities to be grateful, you can be guided in helping your child harness this special skill.

Allow them to practise appreciation every day.

There are simple ways to elicit gratefulness in young people. For teens, it could be writing a ‘gratitude journal’. For younger children, they could be asked about something they have been grateful for the entire day, before going to bed. You can also take advantage of mealtimes, chitchats and family bonding to do these tricks. If they practise gratefulness daily, sooner, it will become a habit that they will carry through adulthood.

Let them take part in community works.

A very good way to instil gratefulness in your children is to give them the opportunity to reach out to others, especially to those who are in need. Let your kids take part in community services like donating toys and belongings, participating in cleanup drives, rescuing animals, baking cookies for a charity event, spending a day in the nursing home or soup kitchen, etc. Learn about the community and school activities that will encourage your kids to serve others.

Teach them to be mindful.

A lot of children these days spend most of their time watching TV and surfing the web. This greatly distracts them from appreciating the pleasure brought by the nature and their interactions with other people. One way to develop their sense of mindfulness is to practise meditation with your children at least 10 or 20 minutes a day. You can have them sit comfortably on the ground or on a chair, and let them appreciate the sounds, smells and sights around them.

Being grateful is one ticket to happiness. At the same time, it helps us find more meaning in life. Can you suggest other tips to develop gratefulness in children? Share your insights by posting a comment below.