How to Prevent an Argument (Before It Even Starts)

Sharon Moore December 10, 2014

We all go through the bad, stressful days. There are times when we really can’t be more patient. Just one wrong move or a few minor comments can infuriate us.

But it really don’t have to lead to painful arguments with our loved ones. Here are a few steps to follow to prevent an argument even before it starts:

Realise that anger itself is not destructive. When you are angry, you don’t have to ruin a relationship, hurt someone, leave home, or throw harsh words to other people. You just need to state your feelings. If you keep your feelings long enough you will explode and say or do things that you will regret. But before you do that, do the next step first.

Keep calm. It’s natural to be angry. When conversations start to get a bit heated, we tend to be very angry. But when we are angry, we say and do things that we really don’t want to do. We could end up hurting other people, whether emotionally or physically. Staying calm amidst tough situations like this can be really challenging, but it is highly possible. So how do you stay calm? You can do it by a very simple step – breathe deep. Take deep breaths and check-in on how your feel in your body and overall being. Take away your mind from the source of your anger or frustration and focus your attention to your body – to your senses.

Pause and Listen. When we are angry, the only thing we probably want to do is to talk and talk, and be heard. But actually, the opposite is true. Healing starts the moment you start to listen. It can be difficult when the other person don’t seem to get your point, and keeps on talking. But ask yourself – does it really hurt your being or your ego?

Let it flow. Be patient. Simply allow things to be and allow the other person to process whatever they need to process. And if at this point you realise that you have dropped words that have hurt someone, now is the time to apologise. But don’t expect a reconciliation easily. Many of us are guilty about this. When we say ‘sorry’, we expect the other person to accept it immediately. And when he or she doesn’t, we get even more furious. Just let things be. Forgiveness will take place.

Never stockpile. Lastly, don’t bring back the issues of the past. It’s just going to make things worse. Deal with the present issue first. And if you really have unresolved feelings from past problems talk about them at another time.

Do you have other tips to share when it comes to controlling anger? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.