How to NOT Let Negative People Affect Your Life

Sharon Moore February 20, 2015

Throughout our lifetime, we are bound to meet a lot of Negative Nancy and Debbie Downers. They are the people whose bad attitudes and undesirable behaviours greatly affect our feelings and often make the situations we’re in worse. And unfortunately, no matter how much we want to avoid them, we can’t just. Sometimes, they even become the centre of our attention.

Negative people can be anyone, from your colleague at work who does nothing but gossip, to a relative who gives unsolicited advice, or a friend who backstabs you. Their negative attitude can be so powerful at times that they could influence our thoughts, behaviours and feelings. They can even create havoc on our self-esteem.

Whilst you can never avoid 100% these negative people, you can minimise, even prevent, their impact on your health and well-being. Below are great strategies that work:

Spend more time with positive people.

If you can’t lessen the time spent with negative people in your circle, then at least choose to increase time spent with people you admire and love to be with. The more you be with them, the more their positive attitude influences you. Being with cheery, supportive and encouraging people can really make a huge difference in life, and boost your resilience towards other people’s negative behaviours.

Don’t let negative people steal your time and energy.

Negative people can still affect you, even though you are not physically around them. Ruminating for an hour about the 15-minute conversation you had with them, or that unexpected encounter, can sap your energy. So instead of thinking about it during your commute, or as you lie in bed, do something productive or enjoyable. Read a book or listen to the music for instance. Regain your focus, self-esteem and power by limiting the amount of time thinking about the interactions you had with negative people.

Watch your thoughts.

Pay attention to how your thoughts change when you are dealing with negative people. If you find yourself favouring negative thoughts, shut them out. Make a conscious effort to lower the amount of time spent thinking about them. Not only does these thoughts give you unwanted emotions, they also sabotage your performance and productivity.

You are responsible for your behaviour.

Sure, there are people who seem to make your blood pressure go up. There are those who are somehow ‘gifted’ with the power to ruin your day and make you feel doomed. But remember, you are always responsible for your actions and behaviour. You can choose to be carried away by the animosity you feel towards difficult people, or you can choose to stand by your core values. Commit to regulating your emotions. It will surely give you a sense of power in the end.

It’s not you. It’s them.

Don’t think that you are the problem. You cannot control what other people say or do, or how they react. You are not the reason of them behaving that way. So stop blaming yourself. Don’t think there’s something wrong with you that’s why they treat you that way. As mentioned, we are only responsible for what we feel and how we respond to situations.