How to Help Your Child Cope with Anger

Rebecca Lewis April 22, 2013

Just like adults, kids can get angry too – sometimes, very angry. But that’s normal. In fact, it gives them an avenue to cultivate two important skills: self-control and forgiveness. Anger is an emotional reaction to frustrations and unexpected situations. When they feel helpless and unable to express their own feelings, children often respond with anger.

Why do some kids get easily angry?

Anger is a natural emotion that anyone can experience. However, some people are easily angered than others. According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, people who are easily angered normally have a low tolerance for frustration. They may feel that they should not be subjected to frustration, inconvenience and annoyance. Dr Deffenbacher explained that some children are born irritable and easily angered, while some adopt this behaviour due to socio-cultural reasons.

Not all easily-angered children show aggressive behaviour towards others. Some express their anger by withdrawing socially, which often leads to depression and other mental illnesses.

While anger in children is normal, persistent feelings of anger is not really good for their health and well-being. Anger causes a surge in heart rate and raises the body’s cortisol levels. It may also trigger misunderstandings and cause problems in the child’s social relationship.

Ways to Help Your Child Deal with Anger Overload

Being able to effectively deal with anger can greatly reduce distress in your home and help your child cope with emotional challenges.

Identify their triggers. Helping your child deal with anger begins with identifying their triggers. When they know what normally causes their temper to go up, they can immediately apply some coping mechanisms to prevent any emotional outburst.

Teach your child some relaxation techniques. Proper breathing relaxes your body, slows down your heart rate, and keeps you calm. Teaching your child some controlled breathing exercises is a very effective strategy to help them deal with anger. Relaxing imagery also helps. This activity involves thinking of a relaxing experience (say, his dream holiday trip) to divert his attention.

Revamp his environment. A stressful environment can cause great distress to your child, a risk factor for anger. Make sure they have an organised and clean environment. Take away the clutter and teach your child to keep their room well-maintained.

Help your child develop problem-solving skills. Often, anger results from having difficulty addressing problems as they arise. Children should learn effective problem-solving skills as early as possible. Involving them in some decision-making processes and having them analyse the potential consequences of their decisions are great techniques to develop their problem-solving skills.

Employ positive feedback. Positive feedback is critical to the child’s development. You need to praise them for his efforts, not necessarily for their talents. This will enhance your child’s confidence and sense of self-worth. When they feel happy and appreciated, they are less likely to get easily swayed by anger.

Maintain an open communication. Your child may not be able to express everything that he feels. It’s either he is shy or he has problems recognising his emotions. Make it a habit to have some chitchat with your child. Regularly ask how he feels, what challenges he are facing in school if there’s any, and other concerns.

Seek professional help. Uncontrolled anger can be a sign of a psychological problem. If anger is already overwhelming your child and affecting their behaviour, it is important to see a professional therapist as soon as possible. This person can devise a treatment programme to help your child manage anger and improve their behaviour.

Anger is a natural response to frustrations and other negative emotions. But it doesn’t have to take control of your child’s behaviour and damage his health and well-being. Using these simple strategies, you can help your child cope with anger and build resiliency against life’s difficulties!

Dear Readers,

What natural therapies can you recommend for kids who are having issues controlling anger?

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