How to Have a Good Relationship… with Yourself

Rebecca Lewis March 15, 2016

At some point in our life, most of us feel disconnected from our true self. Maybe you have felt that you have become more withdrawn and pessimistic. Or that you’ve become less and less confident. All these are normal. But we shouldn’t wait for too long to that point when our relationship with ourselves has already gone astray.

If you feel like you have lost connection with yourself, it is okay. Know that you can re-establish a good relationship with yourself. And here we will show you how.

Reflect.

What could have gone wrong? What could have made you lost the connection with yourself? As your starting point, you may want to ask yourself the most basic question - why. Take time to be alone. If it helps, list down everything that’s on your mind. Write down the possible reasons why your relationship with yourself has gone astray. Maybe you have stopped doing things that make you happy. Maybe you have stopped seeing your friends and meeting new ones. Maybe you have become too busy with work that you no longer have time to be with yourself. Reflecting on the events that happened in your life - the good and bad experiences - is the first and key step towards having a good relationship with yourself.

Give thanks.

Many times, we fail to appreciate the good in our life, which leads to us failing to appreciate ourselves. If you want to have a more positive relationship with yourself, start by noticing your positive traits. Celebrate small wins. Acknowledge the good in your life. Once you develop gratitude, you will realise that life is full of things that bring us joy.

Spend time with yourself.

When was the last time you had a ‘date’ with yourself? Dating is a great way to know more about a person and connect deeper to him or her. Same thing happen to yourself. You get to know yourself better, and figure out what you really want and need. Spend time to be alone. Treat yourself out in a nice restaurant. Order your favourite food and enjoy it like there’s no tomorrow. Enjoy the moment. Remember that this date is all about you.

Do what you love.

In a romantic relationship, you don’t force yourself to someone you don’t love. Same thing with your relationship with yourself. You don’t force yourself to doing things that you don’t love. Otherwise, you will just feel unhappy. Do something that you enjoy every day. Whether it’s cooking, sketching or gardening - it really makes a difference when you are able to give time for things that mean so much to you.

Laugh.

Laughter is the best medicine, so they say. You shouldn’t always take life too seriously. Have your daily dose of laughter. Let your inner child have fun and be silly. Bond with yourself. Find a reason to laugh. Watch a funny video clip. Read a comic book. Laughter has a healing effect. And it goes a long way in helping you reconnect with yourself.