How to Get Away with Toxic People

Keighley Brown April 19, 2023

We all know someone who seems to be kind and easy towards others but is very unkind to us. They are those who mistreat us, undermine our abilities, and make us feel the way we are not. Toxic people are everywhere. They could be in your workplace or school, in your social circle, or even at home.

It may be hard to spot toxic people right away because they often come across as charming and kind individuals. But as you get along with them, their real attitude comes out and they start to make you feel worse.

Toxic relationships may include envy or jealousy, control and manipulation, fear and anxiety, abuse - which can be physical and emotional, avoidance, and denial. Sadly, many of us become victims of toxic relationship of some kind. But we all have to know when to say ‘stop’, part ways with that person, and move on.

Here are some strategies to prevent toxic people from further ruining your life:

S.T.O.P. to avoid reactivity

Sometimes, no matter how you try to ignore them, difficult people will really provoke you and unleash your anger. But you can’t beat them by becoming just like them. You want to be different. And show them what it’s like to have a positive attitude. So the next time that person gets on your nerve, practise S.T.O.P. S - stop whatever you are doing’, T - take three breaths, O - observe how your body feels, P - Proceed with kindness or compassion. As you do the first three steps, you’d find the last one easier to do.

Don’t take it too personally.

When a difficult person says something, you may feel like it’s a direct attack on you. But it isn’t always the case. Their behaviour and reaction is not about you. It’s about them. In the perspective of the difficult person, they are the director, producer and start of their movie. While you are just a small, insignificant part of it. In the same manner, they are most likely insignificant characters in your story. So why let them bother you? If you take their actions and reactions personally, you will only end up becoming offended.

Prioritise your mental health.

It’s another way of saying ‘don’t let them affect you’. If a person is making you feel depressed, ‘stupid, and anything else similar, you’ve got to tell yourself to move on. Toxic people may want to enter your life as your partner, friend, or a confidant. If your relationship with them is not getting any better, and if you feel more pain than joy and happiness, maybe it’s time that you part ways with them and start fresh in your life.

Seek therapy or counselling.

Toxic people, especially those who have been in your life for a long time, can ruin almost everything in your life. The relationship you’ve had with them can cause you to feel depressed, confused, and abused. Also, toxic relationships can feel like a ‘power’ over you. And that power doesn’t always mean love or attachment, but control and manipulation. That is why moving on from toxic relationships can be difficult. If your toxic relationship is heavily weighing on you, you might greatly benefit from therapy.

Do you have a family member, friend, co-worker or someone else who seem to exhibit the traits and characteristics of toxic people? What has been your experience with them? Share your thoughts on the comment section below.

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