How to Feel Better of about Yourself

Rebecca Lewis January 12, 2015

We all feel down sometimes. There are days when we feel like we’re not doing enough. Sometimes we doubt ourselves and we can’t see anything but negativity. And all these are normal. But if in your case, negative emotions tend to outweigh the positive ones more often, you could be struggling with issues on low self-esteem.

The good news is that poor self-esteem is a learned phenomenon and not something that is hard-wired on you. It roots from poor habits in our attitude and negative self-talk. To feel better about yourself and get rid of low self-esteem, you simply have to unlearn it.

The question is how?

Stop labelling yourself as such. The more you think of yourself as having “low self-esteem”, the more you become one. Just because you tend to doubt yourself sometimes doesn’t mean you have issues with self-esteem. Sometimes, our habit of labelling ourselves is often the cause of our emotional problems. Perhaps, if you can list down your good qualities or traits, it is certain that you can come up with several points that can make you feel good right now. In fact, the mere fact that you are here, reading this article means that you possess self-awareness and willingness to learn and grow. Saying you have low self-esteem can just make the problem worse and make you feel like there’s nothing you can do about it.

Examine your thought patterns. Too often, we engage in negative thought patterns without knowing it. And if you are struggling with issues on self-esteem for the past years now, you may find that these negative thoughts tend to come almost automatically or unconsciously. So how do you examine and become more aware of your thought patterns? Try looking at it from a third person’s point of view. This technique lets you practice mindfulness – a very powerful psychological resource that helps you make intelligent, thoughtful choices.

Practice self-compassion.

It isn’t obvious that people who have issues with self-esteem tend to be those who practice self-compassion less. Basically, having a strong self-esteem results from self-love. If you love yourself, you are not going to belittle yourself, ignore your good qualities, forgive yourself from your mistakes, and accept failures as part of life. Practising self-compassion may not be easy, especially if you have learned self-helplessness. But you can always take the baby steps. Begin with rebutting your inner critic whenever it’s saying harsh things about you. For example, when you look at the mirror and you hear yourself saying “I hate my appearance”, make a mental note to yourself that “I just had a negative thought.” Make a contentious effort to counter those negative thoughts. This is the key to a healthy self-esteem.

Avoid ‘personalizing’ things.

Don’t think that you are the reason for everything bad that is happening. Just because your friend didn’t answer your call doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t consider you important. Instead, come up with multiple ways of viewing the situation before reacting. Instead of thinking that way, consider the possibility that your friend was just busy. If someone treats you unkindly, don’t think it’s because you deserve it. You are only responsible for your action, not for that of other people.

Limit your FB time.

One of the easiest way to feel bad about yourself is to constantly compare yourself with other people. And the more we spend browsing our Facebook newsfeed, the more likely we compare ourselves with other’s accomplishments, beauty or status on life. We might start wondering why some are more attractive or have better jobs than us. And that totally strikes our self-esteem.

Improving your self-esteem is one of the best things you can do if you’re after a happier and more fulfilling life. And the above tips are just a few of the many things you can do to boost your confidence and self-belief. No one can’t be perfect. And you don’t have to be perfect. You are special just the way you are.