How to Choose to Be Happy

Sharon Moore December 12, 2013

Even though our general well-being and mood are partially predicted by factors like genes and upbringing, roughly 40 per cent of our happiness is determined by the things we do – that is, things that are within our control. That’s probably why they say “happiness is a choice”.

So what does this mean for you and me and for everyone else? It simply tells us that no matter how ‘down’ we feel right now, we can do something to ease the burden and uplift our mood. The question is how? We’ve got some tips for you:

Just go with it.

In her book entitled “The Top 5 Mistakes of the Dying”, Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who spent many years caring for elderly people, noticed that many of her patients regretted not letting themselves to be happy. That is, many don’t realise that happiness is a choice. It is not a destination, rather the journey.

Find reasons to smile.

The key to lifting your mood could be as simple as putting a smile on your face. A 2011 study by the University of Michigan reported that workers who smiled as a result of cultivating positive thoughts showed improved mood and less withdrawal. But remember, smile is more beneficial when it’s genuine. The same study found that faking smile results to worse moods and withdrawal from work.

Linger on the positive moments.

Studies suggest that our brain is hardwired to favour negative thoughts and experiences. Called “negativity bias”, this phenomenon causes the brain to react intensely to bad news, compared to how it responds to positive news. The good thing is – we can actually counter our brain’s negativity bias. How? We can do it by intentionally and mindfully lingering on the positive memories, no matter how small they are, such as your morning sweet talk with your spouse, your child’s tight hug, and your pet’s tail waggling – you can significantly improve your mood.

Practice gratitude.

We all have the power to choose to become grateful, which is a proven way to be happy. According to a paper published in the journal of Social Behaviour and Personality, grateful people are able to enjoy "those pleasures in life that are available to most people”. That is, simple things in life.

Practise compassion.

Studies suggest that people who engage in charitable activities are happier and more satisfied in life. The science of compassion has been a favourite research subject by positive psychologists because of its ability to promote health and well-being. Practising loving-kindness meditation is a great way to cultivate compassion.

By finding reasons to smile, lingering on positive moments, practising compassion and gratitude, and making happiness a priority, we can be happier indeed.