How to Be Happy When Life Gets Hard

Sharon Moore January 27, 2015

Happiness is a choice, people say. So if it is, then basically, you can be happy even during difficult times. So whether you are faced with a serious illness, a breakup or divorce, a career shift, or any other challenges – you have the option to still be happy. You just have to choose to be.

According to Professor Richard Davidson in Davos, neuroscientist and University of Wisconsin-Madison in the US, learning to be happy is the same with learning how to play a violin or a complex sport. As he puts it, "If you practice at it, you’ll get better at it." So even during tough times, you can exercise happiness. You may find it somehow difficult at first, but over time, you will realise that happiness is something that’s been with you all the while.

Here are some tips to help you.

Start with noticing the good things you’ve got.

A simple change of perspective and focus can do wonders in your mood and overall sense of well-being. When we are going through a difficult moment, we tend to worsen how we feel by focusing on what we don’t have or what we couldn’t get. So this time, focus on what you have. Take a few minutes to write down the things you are grateful for. So the next time you start feeling you don’t have anything, you can read the list.

Take care of yourself.

Being physically healthy is a sure way to elevate your mood, and feel that you are strong, optimistic and in control of your life. Don’t make the tough time tougher by turning to cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. Rather, engage in activities that will make you feel physically and mentally stronger. Pay a visit to the gym, take a walk, run, or play a sport.

Visualise the person you want to be.

When we are going through a tough time, we have a tendency to belittle ourselves. We then start to hate ourselves for being weak, incompetent, lacking of something, imperfect, and so on. To choose happiness, think about the person you want to be – emotionally, physically, spiritually and professionally. Once you have that picture in mind, start making the decisions and choices in order to be your ideal version of yourself.

Do something nice to someone.

During difficult moments, our focus tend to be always about ourselves – particularly our mistakes, shortcomings and imperfections. A great way to boost your mood is to take your focus away from yourself and give it to someone else instead. Do someone a favour. Help out a friend. Volunteer. You might think that at this very moment in your life, you are the one who’s in need of something. But reaching out to others has been scientifically proven to boost happiness. Don’t expect an immediate payback. Just remember that everything your give will come back to you a thousand fold.

Shut your inner critic.

There’s absolutely nothing you can gain from berating yourself. Negativity begets negativity. In order to stay calm and happy during difficult moments, you have to replace those negative thoughts with positive and encouraging ones. Be as supporting to yourself as you are with a loved one who is going through a tough time.

Express yourself creatively.

Feeling blue? The best way to express yourself is to engage in a creative endeavour. It could be painting, writing, or decorating. Arts and crafts-making are a great way to express your emotions without having to be aggressive or violent. It is a healthy, and emotionally and spiritually uplifting strategy to let the painful emotions subside. Think outside the box and let your creative juices flow. You will be surprised of how energised and optimistic you will feel afterwards.

Be present.

It is easy to go back to the same familiar moments in your life and connect them to the present challenging moment. But dwelling on to the past doesn’t help. Neither does worrying about the future. You have no control of the past anymore, so as the future. What you can do is to stay present in the moment. Focus on what you are doing right now.

There is always a rainbow after the rain. But, you can never find a rainbow if you’re looking down. So hold your head up high, smile and face the day with courage and enthusiasm. Everything is going to be okay.