How Mindfulness Makes You a Better Parent

Lisa Franchi September 27, 2013

Having a child isn’t a walk in the park. In fact, many couples experience problems finding balance in their relationship and parenting responsibilities. Although becoming a parent is one of the most rewarding things one could ever experience, it can also stir up all sorts of issues. This isn’t surprising because couples are usually tired, anxious and emotional, and they may be caught up with lots of problems, including health and financial issues, lack of time, lack of intimacy, etc. The list goes on.

Mindful parenting is the practice of intentionally bringing purposeful awareness to every parenting situation, in order to cultivate and deepen your relationship with your child. This technique allows you to pause before reacting so you can have more time to respond thoughtfully, become aware of the present moment, and choose to respond in a way with how you want to treat your child.

So how does mindfulness make you a better parent?

It makes you less anxious. Many parents are experts in worrying. They worry about everything – whether their baby is sleeping too much or getting enough to eat, whether their teens are doing well in school, having enough friends, or being bullied, etc. But sometimes, these worries don’t have valid reasons. Mindfulness is a practise that helps you see those anxious thoughts for what they are – just thoughts – nothing more.

It makes you sleep better. All those worries can affect the quality of your sleep. Conversely, lack of sleep aggravate your anxiety and makes you more vulnerable to negative emotions. According to a study by the University of Utah, individuals with mindful personality traits exhibit more stable emotional patterns and feeling more in control of their mood and behaviour. Not only that. They also experienced improved sleep quality.

It makes you calmer. Do you easily lose your temper when things aren’t turning out the way they supposed to be? Do you get frustrated, annoyed or impatient whenever you see your kids fighting each other? Just as it reduces your anxiety, mindfulness practice also calms you down. Mindfulness techniques like deep breathing help you release tension in your body, calming you down.

It makes you more grateful. Mindfulness helps you focus more on the things that you should be happy about, not on things that make you disappointed with life. Slowing down and pausing for a while lets you pay attention to things that give you gladness.

It makes you kinder, not just to your kids but also to yourself. Mindfulness helps you let go of self-critical thoughts and come back to the present moment. It helps you think deeper before you drop a word. It makes you less snappy and grumpy, and nicer and kinder.

It makes you less reactive. Sometimes, parents are like one giant button that is ready to explode when pushed. At the physical level, mindfulness regulates your sympathetic nervous system, making it less reactive. In the psychological level, it helps you control your emotions, so you don’t easily erupt when triggered.

Just because you are busy doesn’t mean you can no longer practise mindfulness. Here are some tips to incorporate mindfulness in your life:

· Do it in the morning. Perhaps before you get up from bed, or whilst drinking coffee, eating breakfast, or washing the dishes. The idea is to pay attention to what you are doing and let go of anything (thoughts or emotions) that disconnect you from the present moment.

· Do it whilst you exercise. Turn off the TV or the music player. Instead, focus your attention on your breathing, the sensations felt by your body, or the feeling of your feet hitting the ground.

· When you’re commuting or sitting in traffic. Instead of feeling irritated, loosen up and breathe.

· Anytime you need to. Whenever you find yourself in a stressful and infuriating situation, stop, pause and breathe. Organise your thoughts and let yourself calm down before you react or respond.

Mindfulness doesn’t just make you healthier; it also makes you a better and happier parent.