How Emotionally Healthy People Deal with Anger
We have grown in a society wherein anger has always been viewed as unacceptable and uncivilised. We are told to do away from being angry because it does us no good. And in an effort to conform to our society, we try to keep ourselves from being angry. But then again, anger is a very powerful emotion that is too hard to control at times, especially if most of the time you simply try to hide it.
Expressing Anger the Way Emotionally Healthy People Do
Unchecked anger has consequences, unfortunately. But expressing this emotion in a wrong way does not only damage your health but also your relationship with other people, as well as your reputation. In extreme cases, anger can lead to violence. So it is important that you deal with it appropriately.
So below are the qualities, practises and habits of emotionally strong people that you can try to adopt to be able to effectively deal with anger.
They accept that to feel angry is natural and healthy.
Mentally strong people understand the fact that anger is a normal emotion that anyone feels from time to time. Just like fear, anxiety, happiness, and all other emotions. Anger may be a negative emotion and could really bring you great discomfort, but it is a human emotion. And because you are human, you are bound to feel it.
They avoid negative self-talk.
Clinging to your inner critical voice strengthens anger to the extent that it may already overpower you. There’s nothing wrong to criticise yourself sometimes. But if you make it a habit, it’s going to tremendously hurt your mental health. By embracing your imperfections, you are less likely to dwell on anger every time you commit a mistake, or every time things don’t turn out as you expected them to be.
They focus on the issue, not on the person.
Sometimes, people wrong us not because they want to, but because of certain circumstances they have no control over. It is important to focus on the issue at hand, and not on the person that you believe is responsible for causing your anger.
They let go of petty nuisances.
So your son accidentally spilled coffee on your clothes? Let it go. You can always change. So your partner was 5-minutes late? Let it go. It’s just five minutes. When you learn to let go of small mishaps and nuisances, you will find life to be less stressful and more wonderful.
They pause before saying or doing anything.
As mentioned, anger is a very powerful emotion. It is so powerful that it often forces us to say or do something that is actually against our will and values. So before you send an email, react, dial his or her number, or post a status on Facebook, pause and breathe. Is this really what you want? Take a break first. Opt for a short walk. Take a nap. De-stress. For sure, you would have a different mindset after.
They don’t hold a grudge over someone.
Mentally strong people do get angry with others. But they don’t hold on to that anger for too long. Holding on to grudges does not only take time, and so much effort and energy. It also takes a huge toll on your health and well-being. It wears you down, contaminates your mind, and really deprives you of happiness.
They invest on good health.
Emotionally strong people understand the importance of keeping a healthy physique so they make sure to look after their physical and mental health. They exercise, rest, sleep, and eat healthy. Also, they monitor their emotions. They practise self-compassion because they know that by taking care of themselves, they can effectively manage their emotions.
You don’t have to apply all these habits all at once. You can always take the baby steps. When managed correctly, anger is good for your mental health too.