How Do You Know You Are Being Emotionally Abused?

Amy Taylor February 25, 2013

Contrary to physical abuse, emotional abuse can be difficult to spot and its effects might be more serious than what is previously thought. In fact, some victims of emotional abuse may not even know it is happening.

The effects of emotional abuse can be very devastating. It makes a person feel less worthy and unappreciated, unloved, rejected, and neglected. And over time, these negative feelings become so overwhelming that they begin to affect many aspects of the victim’s life – work, school, relationships, family, etc. Emotional abuse may happen among couples, families and between friends. The right kind of therapy can help establish the root of the emotional scars and help to get back the life they once had.

But how can someone know he or she is being abusive or is being abused? Here are the signs of emotional abuse:

Disrespect, Degradation and Foul Criticism

Making fun of someone or that person’s beliefs and feelings is one common sign of emotional abuse. Humiliation involves saying offending remarks (even jokes) especially in front of other people. It also includes saying harsh words, degrading criticisms, and hurtful statements against someone. One can be considered emotionally abused when his or her opinions, feelings and thoughts are disregarded as if he or she doesn’t have the right to speak up and be heard.

Domination and Control over the Relationship

Some people who are in intimate relationships experience emotional abuse when their significant others tend to be very much controlling that they can’t make decisions of their own even on things that are very insignificant. Domination and control may also exist between a parent and a child. For instance, parents may not allow their children to decide what college degree to choose, who to love or marry, or what career path to take. Between friends, domination occurs when one or some members of the group don’t have any say to any decisions made by the rest.

Unreasonable Demands and Blame

Some people are fond of blaming their own shortcomings to other people, such as their parents, children, or partners. Even though they know that deep within, there’s no one else to blame for their own frustrations, failures and unhappiness, they keep on putting the blame to someone else. There are also people who expect too much from their spouses, children, or relatives that when that person fails to meet the expectation, they become very angry. These people ask too much without giving anything in return.

Silent Treatment or Emotional Abandonment

Showing lack of care and affection to someone who expects such treatment is a form of emotional abuse. There are people who just wake up realising that they no longer love their partners. But instead of saying the truth, they chose to show emotional abandonment – being physically present but emotionally gone. This also happens between some parents and their children. There are instances when parents disregard their child’s needs and other valid requests.

Co-dependency

A co-dependent person is someone who has great difficulty identifying the emotional line that exists between him and someone else. There are people who treat their spouses not as a separate person but simply an extension of themselves. While co-dependents only think about what’s good for their significant others, they tend to become very controlling that they no longer respect the other person’s own needs and wants.

All these forms of emotional abuse can be very tormenting and even after many years; the pain they bring could still persist. Fortunately, there are therapies proven to help victims overcome the devastating effects of emotional abuse. However, these therapies can only be more effective when the victim is prepared to be as honest and as open as possible about his or her experiences. Many victims hide the extent of abuse they suffered from their therapist due to many reasons, including shame and guilt.

Dear Readers,

Have you been in an emotionally abusive relationship? How did you get out of it? What advice can you give to someone who is being emotionally abused?

Share your comments below!