Harnessing Your Optimistic Side

Amy Taylor February 25, 2015

In this world that is filled with negativity, having a more positive attitude is an advantage. But as humans, we are hardwired to favour negative thoughts and emotions more than the positive ones. And the reason can be traced thousands of years ago, when our ancestors had to deal with real perceived threats from time to time.

But gone are those days. We are living in a modern, more secure world wherein 85% of the things we worry about don’t actually come to life. Being more pessimistic therefore simply hurts our physical and mental health.

If you are guilty of being a negative thinker, don’t feel bad. It can be undone. Harnessing your optimistic side is possible when you take these little, great steps.

Stop comparing.

One of the ultimate rules to optimism and happiness is this – never compare yourself with others. Don’t measure your progress or performance based on what you see on other people. We are all unique individuals with different strengths and weaknesses so comparing does not really make sense. You will never see the good side of life if you keep on looking outside and wishing you have what you don’t or your life was theirs. By appreciating what you have, and acknowledging that everyone is different, you can have a more positive outlook in life.

Live in the now.

When you live in the moment and just do your best, you feel good. You feel happy. That’s the magic of mindfulness. No matter how good things are going on in your life, if you don’t pay attention to them as they happen, they could just be passing moments of pleasure that you can never taste. When you live in the moment, you don’t worry about the future or get distraught by the past. You just stick to the beauty and wonder of the present moment. So take every waking hour as if nothing ever existed than it. Do what you’re supposed to do and complete what you need to complete. Stop ruminating or planning on things too much. Take it one step at a time.

Choose to see the positive in every situation.

Take note of the word “choose”. That’s true. You can never control what’s going to happen in the future, and for sure there will be bad times as there are good times. But you can choose to see the good in every situation – see happiness rather than sadness, hope than discouragement, progress than failures. You can choose to move forward or get stuck in the bad situation.

Stop trying to be happy.

In a popular study by Suzanne Segerstrom, PhD, an optimism researcher at the University of Kentucky and author of Breaking Murphy’s Law, she asked a group of people to use a beautiful piece of classical music to raise their moods, while telling other volunteers simply to listen to the symphony. The result? The concert didn’t help those who were focused on lifting their spirits—but the others wound up feeling much better. According to Segerstrom, to be happy, we should stop trying to be happy. What we must do instead is to be engaged. When you are fully into something, you get rid of something – rumination – a pessimist’ trait that steals happiness. When you are ruminating, everything feels and seems bad. You become a bad person. And you focus on the bad rather than the good. You focus on the problem, not the solution.

Stop blaming yourself.

Pessimist have many things in common. And one of them is the habit of blaming themselves for all the bad things that happen. If they didn’t get a promotion, they think it’s because they are stupid. If their partner leaves them for someone else, they think there’s something wrong with them. Self-blaming is a destructive behaviour that can prevent you from moving forward. Optimists see problems as passing and as having little to do with them. The good news is that researchers have found that pessimistic, self-blaming people can learn to come up with alternative explanations for setbacks and move forward to problem solving. However, making a long-term mind set switch takes continuous effort.

Make friends with an optimist.

You are who your friends are, so goes a popular saying. The thing is that you get to adopt the qualities, traits and habits of the people you’re always with. So if you are with negative people all the time, you become like them in the long run. Choose to be with cheery individuals – those with positive and enthusiastic personalities. These people can greatly help improve your self-esteem and make you more optimistic.

Write down the good things.

One effective way to train your mind to be more optimistic is to make a gratitude journal. Studies which asked participants to write down at least five good things that happened to them every day for a certain period of time, reported higher levels of happiness.

Being optimistic can be tough if you have been a pessimistic for so long. But it is not impossible. With these tips, you can be able to harness your optimistic side.