Finding Happiness in Mid-Life: 6 Valuable Tips

Lisa Franchi June 19, 2014

Everyone at mid-life goes through different challenges. Maybe you’ve got kids who are giving you headache. Maybe you’re too busy making a living that you rarely have time for yourself. Maybe your marriage is facing its end, or maybe you are in career you never wanted. Perhaps you are wondering if there is more to life than what you have accomplished this far. And even if you think you have succeeded in your journey, it can all backfire and cause you frustration and hopelessness.

If you feel like the stresses of mid-life are getting to heavy to bear, here are some tips and suggestions that you can follow to embrace lasting happiness.

Stop comparing.

You are unique. You are special. So don’t ever compare yourself – the milestones you’ve got, as well as the losses – with that of other people. Comparing is a habit of those in their 20s. When you are young, you still have a lot to prove, more things to learn, and more experiences to earn. You are worried of your status in life, so you feel the need to look around a lot and compare yourself to others. But at mid-life, it’s a different thing. You’ve grown. You’ve paid your dues. There is nothing for you to prove because you’ve proven a lot. Instead of wondering why your college friends are richer, more successful than you are, focus on your unique gifts and talents and allow others the luxury of theirs, without worrying who is better. When you focus on things that are more meaningful, happiness comes knocking on your door.

Discover your core values.

One of the keys to staying happy and fulfilled at any stage in life is to know and live your personal values. Whilst you may think you want to embrace all values, it is not just possible. After all, you’re just one person. So make a list, with focus on the things you value the most. Is it friendship? Family? Health? Freedom? Peace of mind? Your core values will serve as the basis for your decisions.

Accept that you, like anyone else, have limitations.

Limitations are part of being human. When you are young, you probably deny that you do have weaknesses too. But at midlife, you are in a position to free yourself from the illusion that you are that ever-powerful person you once fantasised to be. By accepting your limitations, you are setting yourself free.

Learn that it’s not always about money.

In your youth, getting stuff like a car, a new pair of branded shoes or signature clothes may have been a way to boost your ego or show people that you are successful and ‘happy’. But study after study shows that materialism is never the key to long-term happiness. Whilst it can give us a boost in mood, the happiness it brings is only temporary. At the end of the day, social connections, a sense of inner peace, family, and relationships are what make us really happy.

Express yourself, even if that means disappointing others.

When you were still in your 20s, you have this urge to prove yourself, which could mean doing everything to please others even if that means taking aside your happiness and personal goals. But now at mid-life, it’s time to turn the table. It’s time to express yourself, as there is no one better to approve of you than YOU. Be aware of your thoughts, feelings and emotions and express them maturely. Know that some people will approve, some won’t. Some will like you more, whilst others will ignore or dislike you. But that’s okay. It’s where you’ll know who you can just be yourself with.

Set boundaries.

Allowing others to cross boundaries can cause you real stress and anxiety. It’s always okay to say “no”, so long as you find such things unacceptable to you. Remember that a “no” uttered from the deepest conviction is much better than a “yes” only uttered to please others.

Mid-life crisis is true and it happens. But the term crisis often doesn’t fit, according to mental health experts. That’s because whilst it can be accompanied by serious depression, it can also mark a period of tremendous growth. When you are able to figure out what exactly you need and want at this stage of your life, you’ve unlocked the path to happiness and fulfilment.