Fears We Live By and Overcoming Our Social Anxieties

Amy Taylor February 08, 2013

A little fear is good. It keeps our mind and body alert of potential threats. Imagine the entire world fearless. In that case, people wouldn’t mind killing each other, eating poisonous foods, shooting animals, and exposing themselves to all sorts of danger! But too much fear can be a problem as well. If we all live in fear, we will find it extremely hard to achieve our goals and live a normal, happy life.

The Fears We Live By

We all have various sources of fears. It is estimated that 50 percent of children experience normal phobias called anxieties before they reach 18. Adults fear many things too, from snakes and guns to growing old, losing a loved one, losing a job, getting indebted, and so on. But according to experts, all types of fears usually come from the few basic ones.

Extinction – perhaps the reason why many of us are afraid to try risky activities, such as bungee jumping, or interact with wild animals such as snakes and tigers, is because we are afraid of the possibility that we’ll cease to exist. Simply put, we are afraid to die. The desire to live is hardwired into our brain. Therefore, just the thought of us having difficulty breathing, hands and feet getting cold and on the verge of dying can certainly give us the chills.

Loss of Autonomy – losing control over our lives feels like dying, so we fear it as well. Humans are social beings. We are designed to live with others. Being alone in an island or being trapped in a broken lift, restricted to go out, imprisoned, or physically disabled all lead to an extreme feeling of fear. Loss of autonomy also happens in social relationships. People don’t want to be controlled and be treated like a slave of their partners, groups or families.

Mutilation – losing any part of our body also feels like death! If having a small wound already frightens you, how much more does losing a limb, your vision, your sense of hearing, etc? Fear of snakes, spiders, ghosts and other creepy things often arise from the fear of mutilation.

Ego Death – as much as we take good care of our precious body, we also want to protect our inner self – our integrity. This is the reason why we don’t want to be humiliated, rejected, voted out or expelled from the group we belong, things like that. Death of ego means the death of our self-worth, the very purpose by which we seek to live.

Separation – being left by someone you love, ignored, rejected, and betrayed are among the things we fear most. Again, being innate ‘social’ beings is the reason why we fear separation and being left alone.

When fear is left unmanaged, this can spring into more serious problems which can affect both your physical and mental health. Too much fear could lead to anxiety disorder and depression – two debilitating mental problems that can have a huge impact on your life.

Overcoming Fears and Social Anxieties

You should not let your fears take over your life. Or else, you won’t find happiness and peace of mind. There are many ways to overcome fears and social anxieties. Here are some of them:

Determine your fears. What are your greatest fears in life? What events or situation do usually overwhelm you? Do you feel highly anxious when someone rejected your idea? When someone ignored you? When you are asked to speak in front of a huge crowd? When you know what you fear, you can easily find the best strategy to beat them.

Smile. During a highly stressful event, try to smile. Smiling triggers your heart rate to slow down and your mind to produce less adrenaline and cortisol – the stress hormones.

Challenge your sense of inferiority. Instead of focusing on what you cannot do, give more attention to what you can do. Knowing that you have plenty of strengths, natural skills and abilities make you less worried and less fearful about your weaknesses.

Don’t resort to substance abuse. Alcohol, cigarettes and drugs are never going to help you deal with your fears. Instead, they will aggravate your feelings and make you more fearful of many things! To deal with fears effectively, you have to be physically and mentally healthy. Incorporate exercise and meditation in your daily life, observe proper diet, and don’t forget to relax. These simple lifestyle tweaks can bring you a great deal of benefits!

Dear Readers,

What are the things you fear the most? What do you do to defeat them?

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